"My foot slips!" "I feel surrounded!" Your mercy&love will carry me…

 “My foot slips!” “I feel surrounded!”

 Yes, there are days when it seems I am truly ‘walking in the shadow of death!’

“Just take your next breath!” I say, “Just take your next breath!”

Paralysis has set in, but I’m still breathing! I’m still breathing!

I won’t panic, yet my thoughts lead me to do just that!

“He teaches my hands to make war, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.” (Ps. 18:34).

My hands move me to open ‘the Sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God’.(Eph. 6:17).
“Thus says God the LORD, Who created the heavens and stretched them out, Who spread forth the earth and that which comes from it, Who gives breath to the people on it, And spirit to those who walk on it: I, the LORD, have called You in righteousness, And will hold Your hand;…”(Isaiah 42:5,6).
I believe You Lord, I give You my hand! Help me Lord, I just don’t understand!
“Do not fret because of evildoers, Nor be envious of the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, And wither as the green herb.”(Ps. 37:1).
This day is more evil than others, it seems Lord. This day is dark and full of trouble. There is even doubt in the truth that You care! There is even doubt that You are here! The battle, the battle, is so thick and dark…
“O LORD God, to whom vengeance belongs- O God, to whom vengeance belongs, shine forth! Rise up, O Judge of the earth; Render punishment to the proud. LORD, how long will the wicked, How long will the wicked triumph?”(Ps. 94:1-3). 
I don’t have words, but the words have been written. “They utter speech, and speak insolent things; All the workers of iniquity boast in themselves. They break in pieces Your people, O LORD, And afflict Your heritage…Yet they say, “The LORD does not see, Nor does the God of Jacob understand.”(Psalm 94:4-7).
So I read on and my eyes catch some light, “If I say, my foot slips, Your mercy, O LORD, will hold me up.”
Yes, “satisfy us with Your mercy and lovingkindness in the morning, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.” (Psalm 90:14). “Make us glad in proportion to the days in which You have afflicted us, and to the years in which we have suffered evil.” (Ps. 90:15). This is what Your word says.
You are in control, You have allowed hardship and trial. To think that this prayer of Moses speaks the words of my heart. Your word O God, has given me life, Your word O Lord, has given me breath! I will sing a new song, even though it is so very old, “I need Thee every hour, Most gracious Lord. No tender voice like Thine, can peace afford. I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby, temptations lose their power, when thou art nigh…( I Need Thee Every Hour).
 And the song of Moses, amplified, reads just like the old hymn, “And let the beauty and delightfulness and favor of the Lord our God be upon us; confirm and establish the work of our hands, yes, the work of our hands confirm and establish it.”(Psalm 90:17).
And even more than that, God will take care of the wicked, even though it seems right now they are getting away with it all, He’s got hold of my heart, I can see it all now, He brought me a peace that surpasses even my own understanding: “For the Lord will not cast off nor spurn His people, neither will He abandon His heritage. For justice will return to the [uncomprimisingly] righteous, and all the upright in heart will follow it.” (Psalm 94:14,15).
Yes, Your word puts a new song, a new train of thought in my mind,” I need Thee, O I need Thee, every hour I need Thee, O bless me now my Savior, I come to Thee.”
Your word O Lord has increased my faith.
Your presence O God inhabits my praise.
There is joy again. There is hope.
In Your presence I am whole:
“He sent from above, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy, From those who hated me, For they were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, But the LORD was my support.”(Ps. 18:16-18).“He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me.” (Ps. 18:19).
My countenance has changed! My foot no longer slips  in this moment in the battle. God has rescued me, time and time again. And in the future when my thoughts set out to destroy me again, I will remember the words which have already been written. Written for me, because You, O LORD –  delight – in – me. This is true, so I will talk to my soul when my foot starts to slip:
“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance.”(Ps 42:5)
“Lift up your eyes on high, And see who has created these things, Who brings out their host by number; He calls them all by name, By the greatness of His might and the strength of His power; Not one is missing.” (Is. 40:26).
God is big, God is great, and He is with you right now, don’t forget, He’s got hold of your hand. He took hold of mine, and He’s kept me breathing!
He brought strength to my feeble knees, when I got my eyes off the road and unto the hills. And I remembered, His power is shown in the lives of the weak. We must set our eyes on things above, our confidence must always be simply in Him, “A bruised reed He will not break, And smoking flax He will not quench…”(Matthew 12:20).
Others may scoff, but You God breathe in me, simply breathe, that my breath continues and You help me stand.
“Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God you may receive the promise.”(Hebrews 10:35,36). So give me endurance to keep walking with You. As I take hold of Your hand every morning before I even leave my bed, help me remember just what Your word  has said!
And, “Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
I will chose to “hold fast the word of life…” But wait,  even when I’m too weak to hold on, You’ve shown me through the trouble, You’ve got a hold on me.
My foot almost slips, You know me by name, Your mercy and love, O God,… that is what carries me.
And tomorrow when the fear comes rushing back in, I’ll remind myself, You have not let go of me.
“You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up…”(Ps. 18:35).
Your right hand holds me…”You enlarged my path under me; So that my feet did not slip!” (Ps. 18:36,) exclamation point put there by me!

Author: Toni Rypkema

I'm a believer in Jesus. Because of this, I am married to a wonderful husband and the mom of a large family. For those who have battled cancer, or any other tragedy or disease, you might understand, I had a choice to get better or bitter. I chose to give thanks to Jesus for my every breath. For that reason alone, wanting to proclaim His goodness, do I write - Toni