I woke up this morning and read a Spurgeon poem: “My heart is resting, O my God;...” and I thought, “O Lord, You see my restless heart.”
The poem then speaks, “I will give thanks and sing;” and I know right away, this is my remedy.
The poem was the caboose to the portion of scripture where Hannah, the wife of Elkanah was in ‘bitterness of soul’ when she went to the Temple to pray to the LORD, and “she wept sore.”(1 Samuel 1:10). Even if I don’t embark on telling the whole story of Hannah and her great ‘bitterness of soul’ because her husband had a second wife who had many children and she had none, and not only that, she was mocked and ridiculed by the other woman- and so she wept before the LORD in simplicity of heart with a request that she vowed to return back to Him – only to be rebuked by the priest of the Temple. But Hannah was so broken she didn’t get angry, she just responded and reported of pouring her broken heart before the LORD.
It was the words, “bitterness of soul” that first got my attention, and the poem at the end that proclaimed, “My heart is resting…” There must be some Word from the Lord here today, for me, just for me, not just a story to be told. So I read and kept reading asking the Lord, “Speak to me Lord, for my heart is aching as I pray and search, yes, ‘bitterness of soul’ keeps me searching.
So I read from God’s word of Eli the priest, who acknowledged his error and softened his voice. He answered and said to the one in anguish: “Go in peace: and the God of Israel grant thee thy petition that thou hast asked of him.” (1 Sam. 1:17, KJV).
And the verses that followed spoke mightily too: “And she said, Let thine handmaid find grace in thy sight. so the woman went her way, and did eat, and her countenance was no more sad.” (1 Sam. 1:18, KJV).
“Go in peace, and God will answer your prayer.” These were the words given to the one in “bitterness of soul” and the response was, “May I find grace in your sight.”
“Faith! faith! Increase my faith that I might believe the words You have said, Lord! May the ‘bitterness of soul’ bring me weeping to Your Temple, seeking and searching and asking from You! May I leave it all there, my heaviness of heart and trust in Your grace today – and also for tomorrow. “I can do all things though Christ who strengthens me,” (Phil 4:13), I will go my way and nourish myself and have a countenance of hope. I believe, I believe, I believe – EVEN IN THIS! I will give thanks and sing to You because You are able to make all things work for good.”
“My heart is resting, O my God; I will give thanks and sing; My soul awaits that joyful hour which shall the blessing bring. And a “new song” is in my mouth, To long-loved music set; Glory to thee for all the grace I have not tasted yet. (C.H. Spurgeon, Spurgeon Devotional Bible).
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