"Not all know Me as their King…"

I was very sick, laying on the couch after my third chemo treatment of some very rough and tough ‘poisons’ that the Medical Professionals chose to destroy the cancer cells within my body… and, quite frankly, only hours after the chemicals were set free to run through my bone marrow, I could ‘feel’ the death of the cells in my body. And quite honestly, I almost thought that this was going to be the ‘death of me!’ BUT GOD…(!)
You see, chemo to me can be expressed by God’s word in many places, one of which is (2 Corinthians 7:5,6). (The other, Ps. 18, which I share at the end!)
Back to 2 Corinthians 7:5,6, Paul wrote in words inspired by God, of his experience, and it resembles my own experience: “For indeed, when we came to Macedonia,” (for me, it’s when I came to the infusion room!), “…our flesh had no rest, but we were troubled on every side. (Oh, yes, just ask someone on chemo, they will attest to all this!),  Outside were conflicts, inside were fears, NEVERTHELESS GOD, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus.” (Only, for me, it was, ‘my flesh had no rest after the chemicals and inside there were fears), Nevertheless God comforted me by His hands and feet and heart and mouth of His Body! The Body of Christ being moved with compassion, to pray and pray hard. Being moved to bake and cook. Being moved to shop for a large family, (even for Christmas!) The Love of Christ moving His  people to send cards of encouragement and love. The provision and gifts- unbelievable!
If one says, “I can’t ‘see God,’ I would like to write right here, “Open your ears and hear the stories, and let your hunger and thirst for truth bring you to a place where His word comes down from the shelf, and your broken and empty and seemingly empty heart, cry out in desperation, and let Him fill it, not in a ‘very long time’ but ‘immediately’ with His love and Spirit! He is alive and He alone can open your eyes, He is Almighty God, He is able to turn a heart of stone into a heart of flesh-beating again with hope and life and light and the greatest of all, love! He can and He will, and He does to all who cry out to Him.
I know, I was one who cried! And one who continues to cry out!
God spoke to me! Not audibly, I didn’t hear a ‘voice’, but I heard the words spoken from a book I had read to my children time and time again, I share this story again and again because it’s true. It’s my experience. And God is a personal God and He personally met me in a very dark hour, one I thought to be my darkest – but He showed up!
My eyes were closed, I ‘felt’ as if I was given too much chemo…I started talking to God, “shouldn’t I be seeing lights? But then in the dark I saw a door, and the door opened and He showed me His nail-scarred hands, and I heard the thoughts: “Not all know Me as their King.”
Right then, I knew I was going to survive this cancer fight! And right then and there, God gave me my marching orders! You see, “the heavens declare the glory of God,…” (Psalm 19:1),  but it’s His word that is “perfect and converts the soul,” (Psalm 19:7).
Yes, I play a ‘one-stringed guitar’ it seems in that I write the same things over and over, but we are sheep, and we need the Good Shepherd! He ‘makes us to lie down’ sometimes because we are so focused on the thorns and the heat that we don’t even notice God is making us to lie down on ‘pastures of green’ and that He is working all for good to ‘restore our souls’. He doesn’t desire ‘happy’ sheep,He desires ‘holy sheep!’
He allows these things in our lives so we walk in light and are enveloped by His grace and in brokenness finally ‘see the LORD!’ “Yea, though we walk in the valley of the shadow of death, we fear no evil because He is with us!” (Psalm 23).
“My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought! My sin, not in part-but the WHOLE! Has been nailed to the cross! And I bear it no more- Praise the Lord! It is well with my soul!”( Hymn: It is Well With My Soul).
I couldn’t say in the beginning that I was thankful for my trials, but I can say now – I am thankful! I will end with victory words from Psalm 18 God gave me way before I was even close to being victorious in heart, mind and body:
“For who is God, except the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God? It is God who arms me with strength, And makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, and sets me on my high places. He teaches my hands to make war, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.”
“You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, your gentleness has made me great. You enlarged my path under me; so that my feet did not slip.”
“I have pursued my enemies and overtaken them; Neither did I turn back again till they were destroyed. I have wounded them, so that they were not able to rise; They have fallen under my feet. For You armed me with strength for the battle; you have subdued under me those who rose up against me.”
“You have also given me the necks of my enemies…The LORD lives! Blessed be my Rock! Let the God of my salvation be exalted.” (Psalm 18:31-46).
This is my story, this is my song! Praising my Savior…all the day long… while it is day…while it is day!
Shall we say Amen? Amen! Amen! and even again, Amen!
That is why I thank and love my Jesus! He rescued me from a powerful enemy! My own doubt and fear and shame! He gave me hope and life forever and ever and ever and ever…to God be the Glory – “HOW GREAT THOU ART!”