Introduction: These letters are for Jenny’s girls. Who’s Jenny. (Read Remembering Jenny Pt.1.
Jenny was a swim mom who faced the crisis of becoming paralyzed, unable to move her arms, her legs, to breathe on her own. The first year was of facing the crisis, and all that entails for a family of 5, learning to live in her new condition, remodeling the home, purchasing a wheel-chair accessible vehicle, and coming home to 24/7 home health care.
Growing in faith, in hope and love as she faced day in and day out for almost 6 years in this condition.
Dear girls, I share this letter with you, about a hero of mine, yes, happens to your mom.
When I have a hard day and I feel the impulse to quit or be depressed, I think of your mom. Each morning she chose willingly. Presenting her body as a living sacrifice to God, (Romans 12:1).
Unable to move a muscle, yet totally willing and trusting in God’s healing hand, over a very long period of time. We’re not talking weeks, or long months, we’re talking years.
You see, what made your mom so special was how she was thinking.
She must have wrestled with God, (ironic, someone who couldn’t move a muscle, but was all “life” in mind and heart).
Wrestling with God, she appeared to be one who prayed as Jacob: “I won’t let go until You bless me,”(Gen. 32:24).
Your mom told me the first time I came to the house to visit, after 5 years of being paralyzed: “I consider it a privilege that God would choose me to go through this, and put me in this chair.” (She had one special wheelchair.)
I almost think I should write the word Selah, meaning pause and think about this after this statement. She used the word privilege when talking about being paralyzed from the neck down. Needing assistance of a respirator to breathe. Privilege that she was chosen to suffer so much loss.
I am so sorry for all the loss you girls have had to experience as well. The hugs you will receive in heaven. They will never end.
Your mom also told me, “I always loved God, even from a young age, but since I’ve been ‘in the chair’ God is so close to me. The closeness is indescribable.” And there is huge evidence of this.
I would not be writing word after word if this were not so.
I truly believe that when I hear encouragement to have an intimate relationship with Jesus, I think of your mom and her relationship with Him.
The Bible tells us that He will keep you in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him (Is. 26:3).
Your mom’s mind was on god and His will and ways. She had a deep peace that passed all understanding, (Phil4).
These choices are noteworthy.
And when talking about the struggles in her marriage, (as, every married person has struggles in marriage), she never complained one bit.
Not one ounce, nada, nothing.
She simply asked me, “Have you ever read the book called The Power of a Praying Wife? Your mom was not able to run fast in body, but she quick to run to God in prayer.
And we had many opportunities to pray those wonderful prayers right from that book, because of your mom’s great disability, it seemed as if your mom had these prayers memorized.
God was using your mom to help me in so many ways.
And when things weren’t really going her way, while waiting in a hospital bed for week upon week, unable to find health care to get back home,
“Can we pray that when Joe comes, that he will see that I am concerned about him and all that is going on in his life with the girls?”
Now girls, I am sure that you’ve heard, that when mamas not happy, ain’t nobody’s happy. Not with your mama, instead of being absorbed in her own grief of seeming unanswered prayer, she prayed that she would be focused and concerned with your dad and you.
Girls, this is what a most beautiful woman looks like.
God had done a work in her. I think that is where the word glorious fits in.
The Bible does tell us that “We are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” (Eph. 2:10).
Your mom couldn’t walk, but follow Jesus, she did.
And in that hospital room, Rm. 609, in which she found herself for weeks on end, she asked me if I would call the elders from her church to come to anoint her with oil and pray the prayer of healing over her. She continually said, “God told me that I was going to walk again.”
The elders of the church did come. They prayed, and still, your mom, silently hoped and waited. She was an example of acceptance with joy. That’s why I write these letters, “for now and again.”
Your mom hoped in God, she believed what He said. Period.
She waited, with tears that she couldn’t wipe from her own face, she believed:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”Jer. 29:11-13.
S.H. Spurgeon wrote a little poem, and your mom’s story makes me think of it: “Put thou thy trust in God; In duty’s path go on; Fix on Himself thy steadfast eye, So shall thy work be done.”
“Though years on years roll on, His mercy shall endure; Though clouds and darkness hide His path, His promised grace is sure.”
On the very last visit I had with your mom, (which I had no idea it would be,) she told me, “Toni, I have some homework for you. I want you to learn a song.” So I asked, “What song is that?” She answered, in that whisper voice she had, “It is well with my soul.”
“OK Jenny, I’ve got that one, for next time.”
I never got a chance to sing it with her, but at least now I know the song she left singing:
“When peace like a river, Attendeth my way, When sorrows, Like sea billows roll; whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, “It is well, It is well, with my soul.” It is well, with my soul, It is well, it is well, with my soul.”
“My sin, O the bliss Of this glorious tho’t. My sin not in part But the whole Is nailed to the cross And I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, O my soul!”
And, Lord, haste the day When my faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back like a scroll! The trumpet shall sound and the Lord shall descend, “Even so, it is well With my soul. It is well, with my soul, it is well,
it is well with my soul.”
Girls, I hurt for you in that you miss your mom so much. I know these letters may bring tears, but I pray they fill your heart with love and comfort, For now and again.
With love,
Toni Rypkema