A poem after the floods of life…

A poem for after the floods of life. by toni
“Hoping in God is what we must always keep doing. “Increase my faith!” Is the prayer I must cry!
God holds the Umbrella, His Spirit  to me, that I may choose to finally step out of the comforts of despair, and take the first steps to dance even if its still raining. There’s no time for moping, one must always keep hoping.
He holds out a promise to cover and protect, but sometimes I choose to reject it as I remain sitting in a big mess – with my head down and my eyes on the puddles, He bids me to ‘look up’ and see the hand of His Son, the Prince He has sent, whose eyes are on me (?), OH How can that be?
‘Come to Me,” He calls me even  by name. He waits and longs that I choose to dance in the rain –
to cast off the pain, to lay down the shame, to lift up my eyes to the One who paid the price of my ticket, my debt in full.  He took my whole punishment upon His own flesh, so that I might begin (once again), and have…this everlasting dance with Him!
He forgives all the past and makes all things new, He pulls me out of the the rough and the thicket, that I may learn what life is a-fresh! He holds out His hand…
that I may finally stand and put my eyes upon Him and gain the strength that is needed.
He provides me new garments, off with the old, torn and dirty! He clothes me, renews me, forgives me and then, He smiles as I take hold of His righteous right hand, with the Umbrella shielding us from the  cold and the rain, we take our first steps to dance in the rain!”
 

 

the 1st wedding dance, all over again, and again, and ag…

Remembering the vows and choosing to keep dancing that 1st wedding dance, over and over again… Keep on dancing, ol’ marrieds who’ve just been through the flood, “whatever the weather, you have each other, and that’s how the story will end.” (Forever Like That, Ben Rector).
For those of us who’ve been married – through the better, and who’ve seen the worse too. And for those of us who have been married through the health but also through the sickness too, and for those of us who know riches, but are well familiar with poorness too – For those who are married through the days upon days, months upon months and years upon years – who have smiled for pictures yet have also  wept on closet floors.
I have to share a song. Played with a guitar and two simple voices as the bride and the groom sang along  on their wedding day floor- oh yes, we’ve got to learn this song – all us old marrieds- because we’ve been stepping right and leaning left and have kept on singing through all of the years, the smiles, the tears… and we keep taking the next breath and even keep choosing to put simple melody on each day’s tune.
So perhaps we all learn to sing a song that’s already written- by someone young and dreamy – but we will sing it with ‘great depths of meaning!’ Perhaps we sing it in our little ‘ol kitchens when the kids all gather for holiday! Perhaps we teach our children that marriage is …forever, ‘Forever like that!’ 1-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3, just like a waltz, we sing or we say:
“Well I’ll be your rainy day lover. Whenever the sunny days end.
And whatever the weather, we have each other.
And that’s how the story will end
Well I’ll be your shade tree in summer mmm.
If you’ll be my fire when it’s cold.
And whatever the season, well, we’ll keep on breathing.
Cause we’ll have each other to hold.
I’ll hold you- I’ll sing.
I wanna love you, forever I do.
I wanna spend all of my days with you.
I’ll carry your burdens and be the wind at your back.
I wanna spend my forever – forever like that.
Well I’ll be the words on the pages.
If you’ll be my sweet melody.
And the tune can keep changing, cause I’ll keep arranging.
And this is the song that we’ll sing.
We’ll sing ooo
I wanna love you, forever I do.
I wanna spend all of my days with you.
I’ll carry your burdens and be the wind at your back.
I wanna spend my forever – forever like that.
When the rain comes, I’ll be your shelter.
When the wind blow, we’ll be together.
When the storms they rise, I’ll be right here by your side.
And I’ll sing-
I’m gonna love you, forever I do.
I’m gonna spend all my days with you.
I’ll carry your burdens and be the wind at your back.
I’m gonna spend my forever – forever like that. (Forever Like That by Ben Rector!) (! Exclamation point, mine).
To my husband, Mike,
It’s been 29 years, 11 kids, miscarriages too, schooling and colleges, with a ton of ‘stuff’ in the middle, and lots of music and art too, for better or worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. I have not always been great at carrying any of your burdens, but I’m so thankful we both have Jesus, ’cause He took hold of them all when we couldn’t even lift our heads. But we pray and ask God to help us obey. Jesus has been the glue that has kept us together, ’cause He helps us get through the rough and tough days, and helps us keep dancing this waltz ‘no matter the weather’.
And He let us watch that sweet and beautiful bride and groom just the other day, and we shed a tear in the depths of our hearts, because the song they were dancing to – is the same song that we’ve been singing…each year, through…
“And I’ll sing – I’m gonna love you, forever I do. I’m gonna spend all  of my days with you. I’ll carry your burdens and be the wind at your back. I’m gonna spend my forever, forever like that!”
I love you Mike. And I pray for all of us ‘ol marrieds, that we remember that “whenever the sunny days end, and whatever the weather, we have each other…and that’s how the story will end.”

Remember, remember…REMEMBER:

I bring a little guitar into pre-school and sing to the little ones so God can teach ME! Oh yes, the children -red,brown,yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight…’ THEY are precious in His sight… Jesus loves the little children…But there is so much to do, there’s money that needs to be made, there is only so much time in a day! – Jesus loves the little children – (young and even the very old), Jesus loves, Jesus Loves, JESUS LOVES me this I know – for the Bible tells me so!
God uses little children to teach me the BIGGEST things I must remember and know. Have you watched a little child as they busily go-go-GO!  We learn VERY quickly that the LOVE comes from GOD and that we just don’t have it by ourselves, oh no! No! “NO!!!”
The wiggles, the noise, the mess, the TIME! These are just words on a page as you read, but try to live hour by hour with children- “Come to the table kids, let’s take time to eat…”  We come for a snack, for a small ‘retreat’, and God has a way of showing  you and me…our hearts cry, “I need a Helper!”  And He says, “Remember Me!”
Why does it seem, that the choices that are made, (in children that are young), seem to be quite often  – loud and in the wrong way! “Remember Me!” “Remember Me!” “Remember ME!”
“Where is the Love?” A little voice rings through my head, when I  grow tired and weary and seem to  have used every last bit, of my ‘own’ patience that is stored up to get me through, but then -“That’s IT!” Oh MY! I fail often when I quickly  ‘react’ instead of ‘maturely respond,’ and then shamefully think, “you’re the adult!” Oh, how I fail so very often!
So immediately I become ‘broken’ and very ‘poor in spirit’, but I hear gentleness speak, I hear Love speak to my heart, to help lift up my eyes when I choose to hear it:
“I was broken and poured out, I was willing, you see. I am LOVE and I am the Beginning of all that you seek. Let Me be your Shepherd, you will have all you need. Including the Love and patience, kindness and (even) gentleness – yes, let My Spirit empower you and fill you and show you the way. I, Jesus, love you. I love you…I love you forever, and your children – they are only loaned to you for a very short time. Seek My face and let go of the fear, and let My love envelope you, and walk each day very near – Be near to Me, My love. I love you completely and  I will keep your children- now and for all eternity!
Call out my name, and they will follow your example. Never stop singing those old precious songs.
Because ‘your Father who art in heaven is holy and faithful and ever remains’ and if you ‘read your Bible, pray every day – you will grow, grow, grow!’ And your children, they will remember, that I love them…yes, they will know –because the Bible – it tells them so!
Cast all your care upon Me, because I care. Remember Me, I am with you. I am with you, I AM here, and everywhere! Just call My Name, and I will lead you into the Way, and the Truth and the Life. I AM Love everlasting, My precious children, you are My princess, you are My knights! I will come quickly, so be ready My dears! Do not fret, instead let My LOVE cast out all you fears! 
I didn’t say, when you pray, pray:  “Dear Sir, or “Dear King” or “My Reverence!” NO! Remember I told you to pray:  “Our Father! Yes, My Father knows what’s it’s like chasing ‘kids’ that ‘go in the wrong direction’, He knows! Yes, He KNOWS! Yet He is LOVE- And He sent Me to you, that you would forever know that My Father, He LOVES YOU.  He so loves the world, all the children you see, ‘red brown, yellow, black  and white, yes, they are precious in His sight, So He sent Me to you that My hands would be spread out wide, that you might someday and forever remain by My side.”
“I love you, please Remember and KNOW, and if you forget, My Word tells you so!”  Remember Me, Remember I Love you, My Father sent Me to you,  I am Yours and You are Mine, My name is Jesus and I love you so, read your Bible to re-discover that it is so! Yes, you  – will –  know!”
_______________
 Hebrews 4:15, 16.   “We do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points, tempted as we are, yet without sin.”  “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Now may the God of hope fill us with all joy and peace in believing”…believing that ‘Our Father’ cares, believing that He sees what’s going on, believing that He loves us,  believing that He will deliver us, and forgive us,– and forgive us again, because we haven’t REMEMBERED that He is ‘Our Father’  and that He ‘sent His only Son’ that we might again have hope, yes, “that we might  (even) abound in hope”…
“Lord Jesus, I come to You, to Your Table and Remember You were broken for me, fill me and fill me and fill me again with the Power of Your Spirit to love, over and over again, that we, Your children, young and old and older,  might abound in hope, ‘in the power of the Holy Spirit!” (Romans 15:13, exclamation point mine, exclamation point, MINE!)

There is not one ounce of weakness in one who chooses Christ

There is not one ounce of weakness in one who chooses Christ,
it’s the opposite, quite frankly – it’s easy to run to a ‘vise,’
‘any dead fish can float down-stream’
but we must remember that it takes ‘one who is alive’ to dare to swim up current and to believe!
Blow off the dust from the Book that is True and walk with Jesus for a chapter or two.
Don’t just listen to people’s opinions of Him. Seriously take a look for yourself, and even personally – ask Him!
‘He was, and is, and is to come!’ The Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, three in One. He is the Creator, He is ever present, He is Love, … but you will never know- until you seek Him with your eye, …
and with your ear, and with your broken heart – then He, Himself will show you, that He sees your every tear.
And with the Breath of His Spirit, He breathes a ‘courage’ that is ‘not yours’, to ‘die to yourself’ and be filled with Life a-new!
The courage comes from Him! Deliverance comes in surrender!
Don’t say you can’t believe anything you can’t see –  open those eyes and dare to be wrong… The Power of God is seen every day – in the heavens, the sun,  in the ocean currents, the bird’s song,
BUT EVEN GREATER than the beauties of nature -OPEN YOUR EYES and KNOW GOD IS SOVEREIGN, OMNIPOTENT, OMNISCIENT, yes, EVER PRESENT- when young people  will STAND, in the midst of great evil-
yes,  STAND, when they know that life here on earth might end quickly,  when they STAND up for JESUS, with strength from His Hand,  to meet their Bridegroom right there, right then, the DOOR immediately opened-  and immediately in His presence, they, His beloved Stand.
Believe THEIR witness – they KNEW God! They are with Him, in Paradise, In HEAVEN! We are left here, with time to consider, each, our  own position! This is the song those who STAND for Christ express.  Can you hear them now with great courage, address:

  1. “I have decided to follow Jesus;
    I have decided to follow Jesus;
    No turning back, no turning back.
  2. Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
    Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
    Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
    No turning back, no turning back.
  3. The world behind me, the cross before me;
    The world behind me, the cross before me;
    The world behind me, the cross before me;
    No turning back, no turning back.
  4. Though none go with me, still I will follow;
    Though none go with me, still I will follow;
    Though none go with me, still I will follow;
    No turning back, no turning back.”

COURAGE has a new definition. COURAGE is those who will STAND for JESUS:

  1. “Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
    Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
    Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
    No turning back, no turning back.”

I have been moved by their witness, you see. I will decide each day a-new, to follow Jesus – “Yes, I believe!” He met me when I was torn up and battered and a mess all inside. He healed me and He filled me with His Spirit beside! I am not courageous on my own, not one bit- but I will make the decision to stand, and take hold of His hand and walk one step, by each step! I will not be paralyzed by fear, nor step back – I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back!

'We'll understand it better by and by…"

Words have been written, and I dig them up from the past, because through time and ages, they speak – for me, for you –  bringing comfort to last.
God allowed hard times for the man who wrote this hymn – Charles A. Tindley, a ‘prominent, powerful, persecuted American-African. He wrote through the pain in 1851, – not in anger or in hate – but in power and love with faith -of faith in a God Whom he could not see, but with eyes focused and believing on the promise… of eternity!
1.”We are often tossed and driv’n on the restless sea of time, rolling clouds and howling tempests oft succeed a bright sunshine; In that land of perfect day, when the mists have rolled away, We will understand it better by and by. By and by.”
This hymn was written and recorded and often sung, not asking, “Why?, Why God Why?” but instead, “We will understand it better by and by. By and by.”
“By and by when the morning comes, …We’ll tell the story how we’ve over-come; And we’ll understand it better by and by, by and by.”
There is hope and there is trust in a God that is great. There is patience and  quietness and rest while we wait.
2. “Trials dark on ev’ry hand, and we cannot understand, All the ways that God would lead us to that blessed promised land; But He’ll guide us with His eye, and we’ll follow till we die, We will understand it better by and by, by and by.”
Words written of wrestling, yet of surrender to God’s plan. Power is in surrender and taking hold of God’s hand.
“We’ve over-come; And we’ll understand it better by and by, by and by…When the saints of God are gathered home, we’ll tell the story of how we’ve over-come; And we’ll understand it better by and by, by and by.”
We’ll Understand it Better By and By , Charles A. Tindley – tells us why. Perhaps in our present day we should be resurrecting words spoken in  1905!
 

Casting cares with worship and praise

“Please pray…!””Please pray…!” So many requests come our way,
and our heart says, “Yes, I will pray, I will pray, now and today- that God will move, that God will comfort, that God will be all that He IS to you. He is a very present help in times of trouble, so we ask Him, “Dear Lord be all that You are!”
And He says, “I AM.” “Be Still.”
So, I stop and read some poems written long ago, as my heart today feels so heavy-and my mind just can’t focus- but the words help me pray- I then cast all my cares upon You:
“God counts the sorrows of his saints, Their groans affect His ears; Thou hast a book for my complaints, A bottle for my tears.” 
“When to thy throne I raise my cry, The wicked fear and flee: So swift is prayer to reach the sky; So near is God to me.”
“In Thee, most holy, just and true, I have reposed my trust; Nor will I fear what man can do, The offspring of the dust.” (Poem by CH Spurgeon).
How I can see your face so much clearer, tis true, when I repeat the words that have been written about You:
“Out of my bondage, sorrow, and night, Jesus, I come, Jesus I come. Into Thy freedom, gladness, and light, Jesus, I come to Thee. Out of my sickness, into Thy health, Out of my want and into Thy wealth. Out of my sin and into Thyself, Jesus, I come to Thee.” (Jesus, I Come by William T. Sleeper).
“Out of my shameful failure and loss, Jesus, I come; Jesus, I come. Into the glorious gain of Thy cross, Jesus, I come to Thee….
...Out of earth’s sorrows into Thy balm, Out of life’s storms and into Thy calm. Out of distress to jubilant psalm, Jesus, I come to Thee.” (Jesus, I Come by William T. Sleeper).
Praying with spiritual poems and hymns, and the word of God increases faith:
“When I am afraid I will trust in You. In God, Who’s word I praise. In God I trust.”(Psalm 56:3,4).
“I bow towards thy mercy-seat: Haste, Lord, thy servant haste to meet, To thee, addressed, my sorrows rise; Lord, bend thine ear, accept my cries.”
“O let my prayer before thee come, Sweet as the censer’s fragrant fume; And may the hands, which thus I rear, An evening sacrifice appear!” (poem by C.H. Spurgeon).
“O lead me to the Rock That’s high above my head! And make the covert of thy wings My shelter and my shade. Within they presence, Lord, For ever I’ll abide: Thou art the tower of my defense, The refuge where I hide.” (Poem by C.H. Spurgeon).
“A shade by day, defense by night, A shelter in the time of storm; No fears alarm, no foes affright, A shelter in the time of storm. O Jesus is a Rock in a weary land, weary land, a weary land. O Jesus is a Rock in a weary land; A Shelter in the time of storm.” (Hymn by Vernon J. Charlesworth, 1880).
Words written so long ago, for me today…that I might pray.

"F-O-R-E-V-E-R by His side."

You are the First and the Last, the Alpha and the Omega. “Jesus, You are my Song”.
You are the giver of life, my very first breaths,…and my very last breaths will be
“Jesus.” “You are my Song.”
You were born in me when I invited You in, I called out Your Name on that day –
You saw the chaos inside me – the sin and the shame –  yet Your hands were stretched out still…
“Be Still, and know that I AM God,  I AM your strength and your Song.”
So in response to Your love so amazing, I will proclaim Your Name from my lips, and tell the world what You’ve done for me,
“Jesus,  You healed me, You filled me, You breathed life in me again. And even sweeter than honey, dear Lord, my God, You gave me a melody of Joy in my heart and the miracle of a genuine smile, and the power to forgive, again and again.  “I do! I Do!””Jesus, You are my Song.”
If anyone asks me ‘of whom do you belong?’ I will stand and say “Jesus, He is mine! He is my Song.
“I Do” stand for Jesus! All prepared, I am His Bride!” He comes for me now, to Paradise…F-o-r-e-v-e-r by His side.

Writing my book about Jenny. My champion and great witness always…

You see, Jenny…she couldn’t get out of bed- paralyzed-  the term  ‘quadriplegic’ doesn’t even fit the bill in my mind because every breath that was taken needed to be helped by a respirator, day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year! And God ‘told her’ that He was going to heal her, and Jenny BELIEVED GOD! Yes, with setbacks of doubt and great sorrow at times, Jenny’s faith only grew! Jenny believed God in the beginning and Jenny BELIEVED GOD in the end- do you know why? I will tell you why -because God’s grace WAS sufficient for her: “My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, then my power is made perfect in you.” (2 Corinthians 12:8,9). And, just to get the record straight – God DID heal her! And He used her witness to bring healing in me as well, (But not past tense, continual healing as I tell her story!)
I write because I ‘witnessed’ God’s grace and God’s power made perfect in her! Jenny always encouraged the book that I am (present tense),  writing called “God’s Hand”, but little did I know, God was showing me before my very eyes, by witnessing the life of Jenny, “Toni, you write the book as you breathe and walk and move ‘in Me’ each day!” Jenny is My witness. Jenny wrote the book called “God’s Hand!”
And trust me, I witnessed God’s hand, especially in Jenny’s final weeks. He was not distant, He was not far, He was right THERE literally making Jenny’s bed!
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin which so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” (Hebrews 12:1).
God knew I NEEDED Jenny, and perhaps, today, you do too. Are you  going through a fiery trial:
“Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you;” (1 Peter 4:12).
Well, I DID ‘think it strange’ the trial I was going through, but it was NOTHING compared with what Jenny had to face each and every waking day! Not only could I ‘literally’ get out of bed, but I could ‘walk’ into my kitchen and I could give myself a drink of water. I could blow my nose when I cried. I could move my own hair around until I was satisfied.
Jesus said, “for without Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5).  For Jenny, SHE could DO NOTHING!” This was a FIERY TRIAL! But I write about Jenny because she had eyes for Jesus! And her heart trusted in Him and His word! I could ‘DO’ many things and get myself in lots of trouble, BUT GOD gave me Jenny that I might witness someone face a ‘fiery trial’ with temps much hotter than anything I had to go through and come out PURE GOLD- and I’m not just writing ‘nice words’ about a friend who suffered – I am writing about a champion who made moment – by  – long – and treacherous –  moment – to trust and believe in Jesus.
I must confess, and Jesus knows this first hand, that I had a lot of PRIDE! (Correction, ‘have’). Pride is something us human beings will always have trouble with! God help us! And we, as human beings do not want to hear that we have pride! But we like to hear that ‘God’s grace is sufficient’. It is said that the word is sweet as honey, but it is also, when chewed on and ingested into the system – bitter to the stomach: (Revelation 10:9), ‘And I went to the angel and said to him, “Give me the little book.” And he said to me, “Take and eat it; and it will make your stomach bitter, but it will be as sweet as honey in your mouth.” 
So, we love to hear how ‘the grace of God is sufficient’, but in 2Corinthians 12,  Paul writes how he had seen a vision of Paradise, “And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, 
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-9).
“Yah, that’s Paul the Apostle, not me!” I would say in my heart! And chewing on the next verse is even more ‘bitterness to the stomach’: “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”(2 Corinthians 12:10).
What human being, in their right mind, can ‘take pleasure in infirmities!’ All I know is, I was NOT taking pleasure in mine!
So, I had acquired Rheumatoid Arthritis that same week that this ‘swim mom from the Y’ became paralyzed overnight! Right off the bat, God used Jenny. My trial was nothing compared to hers!
Then my husband made an ‘unpopular decision’ in the eyes of man, yet feeling obedience in his heart toward God and the Lord that He loves and seeks to obey each and every day,(yes, I mean that to be present tense!),  (after  a year of prayer) chose to resign from his job (at a time when there was ‘economic crisis’ in our country, looking the ‘fool’- but this man had already been thought the ‘fool’ because it certainly does not seem ‘responsible’ to TRUST GOD for your family planning. My husband seeks to ‘obey God’ even to his own hurt. I am married to a man of faith.)
So, being married to a ‘man of great faith’ having the ‘gift of faith’ and me  – simply feeling ‘faith-less’ so much of the time after the ‘fiery trial’  and drowning in confusion and doubt and fear –  I would think of Jenny – who ‘got out of bed’ in her heart and mind and LIVED a life of faith. And I would think, “If Jenny can believe God and face her day and love her family in great weakness, then I can too!”
Jenny was my ‘distant’ witness for 4 1/2 years. I would think of Jenny, and ‘chat’ occasionally with her when she ‘wheeled’ her way into the Y by blowing through this ‘straw-like’ connection to her wheelchair that would enable her to roll herself in.
Then the diagnosis of stage 2 evasive breast cancer! I would wake up and say, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…”(Psalm 23) and then…I would ‘remember Jenny!’  “Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; (1 Peter 4:12)…
‘If Jenny can do it, then so can I’, I would think. I made the choice to ‘chew on the word’, even the bitter, not just the honey.
The bitter: “But I must not become too proud of the wonderful things that were shown me. So a painful problem was given to me.” (2 Corinthians 12:7), “This problem is a messenger from Satan. It is sent to beat me and keep me from being too proud.” (2 Corinthians 12:7). 
Who wants to think on that!? Oh my!  who wants a ‘thorn in the flesh?’ And what in the world do those words mean anyway?! All I know is ‘brokenness brings humility’ and the word ‘fun’ can not be found anywhere near. But through chemo and surgery and chemicals continuing…I chose to keep chewing on God’s word and always, remembering Jenny, who God would in turn use to ‘show’ me with my very eyes, even sweeter than honey:  “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
This is just the beginning of the story, because there finally came that day, when I called Jenny on the phone to tell her, “Jenny, God has used you in my life to literally get me out of bed in the morning…for years!”
Part II for another time.
“Dear Lord, I write to give glory to You. Because God, You’ve got us in Your hand. Through the good, the bad and the ugly,  You love and You use everything…and You, dear Lord, You DO, ‘ work all things together for good to those who love God and are called according to Your purpose.'(Romans 8:28). Thank you so much for giving me that precious and personal friendship with Jenny. Unless I write to tell about it, only You and me and Jenny will know. Please bless the organization of words- mine, simply the story, Yours, the power – that many who feel ‘paralyzed’ as I did because of circumstances and sickness, and depression and fear will be touched by Your Spirit and ‘rise up and walk’ with new life. In Jesus name, Amen.” “Then sings my soul, my Savior God the Thee, How Great Thou Art! How Great Thou Art…”
 
 

Remembering Jenny…a broken vessel of joy

Today, I remember Jenny. ( I often remember Jenny because God used her to ‘show me’ that His grace is sufficient!’NO, even more than that, God used Jenny to help restore ‘joy’ in my life!
I must record a moment in time, because God wants me to remember the very last song we sang…
First, the ‘we’- Jenny and myself (and my friend Gail and a man from Jenny’s church). Second, ‘the moment’ – Jenny, the friend God gave me to help lift my ‘pity-ful’ thoughts out of the ash heap to soar in a sky of blue. Yes, the friend who suffered so many great losses, even the loss and ability to feel or move any muscle below her neck for close to 6 years. Yes – Jenny was paralyzed within a 24 hour period from some unknown ‘virus’ at the age of 35, completely from the neck down, along with a respirator to help her to breathe for an unheard of 6 years! Jenny was a living miracle!
(Take a moment and imagine losing the feeling and ability to move anything below your neck for even one day, let alone almost 6 years!) Anyway, back to the moment- God knew – but we didn’t- that this moment in time was to be our last day to talk and sing. This moment after being in the hospital almost 3months, separated from her home and her beloved 3 daughters and her  husband because the ‘home health care benefits expired’- this young 40 year old woman beamed with joy when I pulled out my ‘baby Taylor’ to play the hymn, “My Jesus, I Love Thee.”
This was no performance to be remembered for perfection, but this was a moment of precious and purest of praises. None of us knew this would be the last song. But God did. And unless I write this down today and record this moment, it might be forgotten, but God wants me to remember…
He wants me to remember so I can be reminded forever that He is in control. He is the Great Conductor. God knew that about 15 hours later, Jenny would suffer lack of oxygen and go into a coma for a short time, before going on home to Him. God’s the only One who knew, but we can know the song…we can know the song that she had on her mind, because we sang it together on that day, and God was with us because He inhabits pure praise:
“My Jesus I love Thee; I know Thou art mine. for Thee all the follies of sin I resign. My gracious Redeemer, My Savior art Thou. If ever I loved Thee, My Jesus, ’tis now. (William R. Featherston)
To think that the ‘Great Conductor’ had Jenny and I reading together the  few visits before in the Song of Songs, the Song of Solomon where we both discovered just how great His love is for us.
No words can describe how rich and personal and remarkable our times together with God and His Song of Songs were! We sang the words, “I know Thou art mine” in a most deep and rich way. Like two school girls that had been ‘kissed’ by Jesus:
“Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold you are fair! You have dove’s eyes…” (Song of Sol. 1:15). “
I will never forget, Jenny struggling to speak after I read those words.  She said, “Jenny ! My name means ‘FAIR ONE!’
God brought us together to hear Him speak so gently, so intimately:  “The voice of my beloved! Behold He comes leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills…behold He stands behind our wall; He is looking through the windows, Gazing through the lattice. My beloved spoke to me: “Rise up, my love,my fair one, And come away. For lo,
the winter is past, The rain is over and gone. the flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come…” (Song of Sol 2:8-10).
God spoke so clearly.He speaks so tenderly and timely, He IS a very present help in times of trouble!  Speaking directly to His ‘fair one’ His Jenny and even me! She was no longer in a hospital bed, her Prince had called her by  her name!
So, back to that last visit and the song : We sang on that monumental day: “I love Thee, Because Thou hast first loved me, And purchased my pardon On Calvary’s tree. I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow, If ever I loved Thee, My Jesus, tis now.”
Jenny and I, through our previous times together were touched by the Lord, and to even sing about the thorns on our last song together, Oh how He knows about our thorn!
“Like a lily among thorns, So is my love among the daughters.” (Song of Sol 2:1).
And here on our last time together, and with friends we sang words giving thanks:  “I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow,...” and we meant every word as we sang, “If ever I loved Thee, My Jesus,tis now.”

These were not just words, they were spirit and we were worshiping our Lord in Spirit and in Truth and He was with us on that monumental day. He inhabited that amazing praise on that particular moment and He enveloped us all in His love, especially my dear Jenny!
All glorious! This moment tucked away in the ugliest hospital room ever, with circumstances dimmer than the darkest grey- was all Glorious- because the Lord was with us- and especially my dear Jenny!
The next two verses are so amazing, in that of all the hymns, this is the one that God chose for me to bring on that precious day! God is in control:
“I’ll love Thee in life, I will love Thee in death. And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath; And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow, “If ever I loved Thee, My Jesus ’tis now.” Only God knew that the last breaths were approaching.
But this brings me the greatest of comfort, that God chose this song, because I will always wonder, “Lord, was Jenny hearing this song in her coma? So much mystery that only You know, Lord.”
But here are the words of the last verse we sang, so amazing, beyond glorious -truly God’s on the Throne: “In mansions of glory And endless delight, I’ll ever adore Thee In heaven so bright. I’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow, “If ever I loved Thee, My Jesus, ’tis now.”
I’m thankful that God had me bring my guitar that day, I’m thankful for the song He chose. TO think that He was willing to wear that crown of thorns so we could wear a ‘glittering crown on our brows’! And when we get there, we will lay those crowns down at the feet of Him who loves us so.
So, if God has you go ‘outside the box’ and grab that hymn book, psalm, or even to grab that guitar ,to bring to someone whose been broken,  you might just witness, as I did that day, a monumental moment that you will  record in the journal of your heart forever.
God brought healing to all of us on that day! Especially for my dear Jenny!
‘In His presence is fullness of joy’ the Bible teaches! No matter what happened in the past or is going to transpire in the future-God has a plan, and it’s something we can hold on to!
Lord, I miss Jenny so much. But I thank You that she is whole and alive forevermore. Soon and very soon we will be together again. Thank You for her life. Thank You for Yours! “If ever I loved Thee, My Jesus, ’tis now.”
I have the wrong title on this ‘book’ (I suppose I could write a book about all God did for us in bringing us together for a short time…). This story should be called: God’s Amazing  Love!

The clay, the Potter, today…

Clay in its natural form is common and has no great value. However in the hands of the potter, a lump of clay can be made into a beautiful and useful vessel.
“Be still my soul! the Lord is on thy side; Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;          Leave to thy God to order and provide;    In every change He faithful will remain. (Be Still My Soul, Katherina A. von Schlegel, 1752).
“Be still my soul thy best, thy heavenly Friend through thorny ways leads to a joyful end…”
Sometimes, God just doesn’t make sense, but it is said that His ways are NOT our ways! Perhaps we do best to remember, we are but ‘lumps’ of clay.
Jeremiah 18:1-6, Amplified: 

18:1-6, The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord: 2 “Arise and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will make you hear My words.”3 Then I went down to the potter’s house, and saw that he was working at the wheel.4 But the vessel that he was making from clay was spoiled by the potter’s hand; so he made it over, reworking it and making it into another pot that seemed good to him.

5 Then the word of theLord came to me: 6 “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?” says the Lord. “Look carefully, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel.

“Be still my soul! thy God doth undertake To guide the future as He has the past.         Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake; All now mysterious shall be bright at last…”

Psalm 62:5-12, NIV: 5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
    my hope comes from him.
6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God[a];
    he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
    pour out your hearts to him,
    for God is our refuge.

“Be Still my soul, thy best Thy heavenly friend, through thorny ways, leads to a joyful end…”

Psalms 62:6 For God alone my soul waits in silence and quietly submits to Him,
For my hope is from Him.

He only is my rock and my salvation;
My fortress and my defense, I will not be shaken or discouraged.
7 On God my salvation and my glory rest;
He is my rock of [unyielding] strength, my refuge is in God.
8 Trust [confidently] in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him.
God is a refuge for us. Selah.
“Be still my soul, the waves and wind still know the Voice who Ruled them, when He dwelt below…”

9 Men of low degree are only a breath (emptiness), and men of [high] rank are a lie (delusion).
In the balances they go up [because they have no measurable weight or value];
They are together lighter than a breath.
10 Do not trust in oppression,
And do not vainly hope in robbery;
If riches increase, do not set your heart on them.

11 God has spoken once,Twice I have heard this:

That power belongs to God.

12 Also to You, O Lord, belong lovingkindness and compassion,
For You compensate every man according to [the value of] his work.

TODAY, I am speaking to myself today in Psalms and hymns…but remembering as well that God is holy, and God is just:

Jeremiah 18:6-10, Amplified: 6 “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?” says the Lord. “Look carefully, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel. 7 At one moment I might [suddenly] speak concerning a nation or kingdom, that I will uproot and break down and destroy; 8 if that nation against which I have spoken turns from its evil, I will [a]relent and reverse My decision concerning the devastation that I intended to do. 9 Or at another time I might [suddenly] speak about a nation or kingdom that I will build up or establish; 10 and if they do evil in My sight by not obeying My voice, then I will reverse My decision concerning the good with which I had promised to bless them.
Be still my soul! the hour is hastening on When we shall be forever with the Lord. When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,           Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still my soul, when change and tears are past, All safe and blessed we shall meet at last. “
Praying today Lord, “Our Father in heaven , hallowed be Your name, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven…lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,… ”
Please let these words not be said of us Lord when You look at our individual hearts, we weep today for our nation…The words written in Jeremiah 18:15-17:

‘Yet My people have forgotten Me;
They burn incense to worthless gods,
They have stumbled from their ways
From the ancient roads,
To walk in pathways,
Not on a highway,
16 
Making their land a desolation and a horror,
A thing to be hissed at perpetually;
Everyone who passes by will be astounded
And shake his head [in scorn].

17 …I will show them My back and not My face
In the day of their disaster [says the Lord].’”

“…forgive us our trespasses and we forgive those who trespass against us…for Yours is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory FOREVER, amen. ” (The Lord’s Prayer, Matthew 6).

 
 

"Think on these things…a Psalm, a hymn, and God's word!

We are in the storm already. Each breath we take, each step we make however, is seen by our Father who is in heaven. for us who choose to believe this day. He is ‘A Shelter in the Time of Storm’.
A hymn written by Vernon J. Charlesworth sometime in the 1880, has power to change worry to calm. Oh the power of the hymn, the power of the Psalms, the power of God’s Word:
Psalm 32:7, “You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah.” Psalms 32:7.
A Shelter in the Time of storm: “The Lord’s our Rock, in Him we hide, A shelter in the time of storm; Secure whatever ill betide, A shelter in the time of storm.”
“O Jesus is a Rock in a weary land, A weary land, a weary land; O Jesus is a Rock in a weary land; A Shelter in the time of storm.”
“A shade by day, defense by night, A shelter in the time of storm; No fears alarm, no foes affright, A shelter in the time of storm.
“The raging storms may round us beat, A shelter in the time of storm; We’ll never leave our safe retreat, A shelter in the time of storm.”
“O Rock divine, O Refuge dear, A shelter in the time of storm; Be Thou our helper ever near, A shelter in the time of storm. O Jesus is a Rock in a weary land, A weary land, a weary land; O Jesus is a Rock in a weary land; A shelter in the time of storm!”(Vernon J. Charlesworth)
It doesn’t matter all the ‘conflict’ going on beside, when we have the Name that is higher than all Names by our side. If fear overtakes us in the midst of the storm,  we call on Jesus! Even though we may walk in the valley of the shadow of death we will fear no evil, because ‘in Him’ we reside!  He is a Shelter in the Time of storm, and  – in Him – we hide!
Think on these things, think on these things: “Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you.” (Philipians 3:1)
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” (Philippians 4:4).
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.(Philippians 4:6,7).
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true,…
whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -… 
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things… and the god of peace will be with you.” (Phillipians 4:8,9).
He is a ‘Shelter in the time of storm!’
Wait on Him, He is Faithful and true. Wait on the Lord, He is jealous for you, and me TOO!

just a bush, and a flame-and a miracle

So many lessons in just one little story! Worship God, walk carefully!

by tonirypkema

Reading again that very familiar story, in Ex. 3, I must share it with you:
“Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian. And he led the flock to the back of the desert, and came to Horeb, the mountain of God.”
Let’s see, Moses is in the back side of the desert.
Do you know what that feels like? Maybe not physically, but emotionally, yes. And even spiritually, you might feel ‘dried up’, or even financially, parched. This is where Moses was. “But he came to Horeb, the mountain of God.”
This makes me think of the Psalm 121, “I will lift up my eyes to the hills – From whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, Who made the heaven and earth.”
Yes, I hear the Lord say so much in this verse, “But he came to Horeb, the mountain of God.” I hear Him say, “Be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5.
And that is exactly what we can see as the story continues:
Exodus 3:2, “And the Angel of the LORD appeared to him in a flame of fire from the midst of a bush. So he looked, and behold, the bush burned with fire, but the bush was not consumed.”
Is Moses feeling as if he is ‘put on a shelf’? Is he discouraged because there is nothing going on here in the back side of the desert – but all of a sudden “the Angel of the LORD appeared to him in a flame of fire from the midst of a bush, but the bush was not consumed.”

This brings to mind so many scriptures that God has given me in the past, scriptures that God perhaps wants you and me to have settled deep withing our hearts,
“For it is God who commanded light to shine out of darkness who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure, (which is Jesus, which is the fire burning), in earthen vessels, ( or our own broken lives, or measly little bushes!), that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.” 2 Cor. 4:6,7.
”
And to think that the bush was not consumed. Doesn’t that make you think of Paul’s writings in 2 Corinthians 4:8-10?,
“We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed – always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.”
Just an old dried out bush in the back side of the desert, shining ever so bright with the Angel of the LORD appearing in the form of fire – and the bush was not consumed!
And this is my favorite part:
“Then Moses said, “I will now turn aside and see this great sight, why the bush does not burn.”Exodus 3:3.
I have recently learned that the word ‘worship’ in the Greek comes from a word meaning, ‘to turn toward and kiss.'(proskuneo).
Could God possibly be showing you and me today, in this most familiar story, that while Moses was for years in the back side of the desert, seemingly ‘put on a shelf’, that the LORD was with him,and has a plan.
Just like Jeremiah 29:11,
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.”
And not only that – but Moses chose to turn aside and…and to let us all know his desire, “I will now turn aside and see this great sight, why the bush does not burn.”

Yes! It is today, that God has shown me through this simple story so many of the truths He wants me to hold on to. Don’t you see it?
The bush does not burn! Why?
Because Lamentations 3:22-23 tells us why,
“Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.”
I believe Moses worshiped the Lord.
Oh, how we need to worship Him.
“Oh come, let us worship and bow down; Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker. for He is our God,
And we are the people of His pasture,
and the sheep of His hand.” Ps. 95:6,7.
So the story continues, ex. 3:4,“So when the LORD saw that he turned aside to look, God called to him from the midst of the bush and said, “Moses, Moses!” and he said, “Here I am.”
God speaks to us in these stories, specifically.We have become witnesses ourselves, and in Is. 43:10. God speaks, “You are My witnesses,” says the LORD, and My servant whom I have chosen, that you may know and believe Me, and understand that I am He…I, even I am the LORD.”
And God speaks to Moses in Ex. 3:5, “Then He said, “Do not draw near this place. Take your sandals off your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground.”
All I know is that when I am bare footed, I have to walk real carefully!
Today I will worship God for His steadfast love and walk carefully.

"I will sing a new song to You, O God;" (Psalm 144:9)

“Please pray! This thing is going on!” “Please pray!” “Please pray!” So today…
God put on my heart, “I give you a new song, to sing back to Me, to remind you I AM, and I AM able to do exceedingly abundantly ABOVE all that you ask of Me…”
“Make melody in your heart, with words I have already written, that you might be strengthened in your inner man to know, that though mankind has been bitten, there is a ‘ bronze serpent that has been lifted on a pole’, and NO, this is NOT SCIENCE – but to look on Him, you will be made WHOLE!” ( Oh, if I could just put sound on this melody God gave me -but in casting on Him the prayers,  He turned the water into wine, by speaking His word and giving melody divine!)
“Have you not known? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning? From the foundations of the earth, have you not known? Have you not heard? ”
“It is He who sits above the heavens! The Creator God, He rules the earth! Have you not known? Have you not heard – the Everlasting God never faints or is weary – He gives power…to the weak. He gives them strength.”
“They that wait on the LORD – shall renew their strength! They shall mount up with eagle’s wings – they shall run and not be weary – they shall walk…and not faint!”
“And as you journey along the ‘thorny paths’ of this earth, speak My Psalms…you shall walk, and not faint:”
“I will lift up my eyes to the hills-From whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel Shall neither slumber nor sleep.”
“The LORD is your keeper;”
“The LORD is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, Nor the moon by night.”
“The LORD shall preserve you from ALL evil; He shall preserve your soul.”
“The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in From this time forth and FOREVERMORE.” (Psalm 121, emphasis mine!)
(end with song and melody): “They that wait on the LORD shall renew their strength…”

this should be called, "It's not all bad news!

Today, I am speaking plain and hard.
For those who have heard news like: “You have cancer.” or “You need a kidney transplant.” or, “You need a new liver or you die.” or…Oh, my, I will not even type more words…but you, yourself- most likely have your own words of great loss, and pain- and have asked the tough and hard question, “Why!”
And quite honestly there is no comfort that human flesh can bring. Quite honestly, any words that I might say, bring about a ‘sting’. Except, perhaps, the words, “Just do the next thing!”
It’s just not always good news. And we may never know ‘why.’ But, we have the choice- to read what we will, to believe what we will, to do as we choose – you see, ‘in the beginning’ yes, if you are believing, ‘God created…’ all that makes YOU.
And there is no ‘love’ – without truth. There is ‘NO LOVE’ in a lie. Yet, we cling to the things that tickle our ears, yet, they actually ‘steal, kill and destroy’ and we don’t even notice what’s died!
We can turn the page, or click the remote – but God is God, He IS ABOVE -Above all things, whether we believe it or not- and He loves us MOST! He gave us CHOICE – so that we might choose from our heart to turn to our Creator and say, “Thank You! I acknowledge Your LOVE!”
“But how can a God of love cause all this pain?”
“Let us not forget the beginning again!” ” In the beginning, the fruit of the trees ALL, except the one… Thus, the fall…
He didn’t create us to be robots! He didn’t wire us to ‘HAVE TO’ love Him. NO! He gave us the choice to acknowledge His care, to see His provision, in everything that’s there! “The Lord is my Shepherd…” He’s a personal God, if we don’t call Him ‘MINE’ He waits…
…and He sometimes ‘MAKES us to lie DOWN…’ when it wasn’t part of our plan –
But He opens our eyes and we see…’He makes us lie down on pastures of green’ and ‘His grace taught our hearts to fear’ and what was blind now is seeing that HIS HAND… has a hold of me, even here.
So what might not be ‘good news’ in the beginning actually becomes ‘Good News’ in the end – because God our Father in heaven, has provided His Son and His grace, and all the bad and even the ugly, He somehow has dimmed, because He lifted my head and He touched my brokenness brought on by sin. Not with ‘itchy’ coverings sewn by myself, but by covering me with the blood of the Lamb and giving me peace and forgiveness of great wealth!
He made it all work together, ‘all’ work together, for good. The waves still go crashing, but He…
He’s got His Hand guiding my course, and He says, “You are Mine! and I praise Him and thank Him and melt in His Hand and say, “Dear Jesus, I love you! I am completely Yours!”

It's not all good news…But God!

Today, I am speaking plain and hard.
For those who have heard news like: “You have cancer.” or “You need a kidney transplant.” or, “You need a new liver or you die.” or…Oh, my, I will not even type more words…but you, yourself- most likely have your own words of great loss, and pain- and have asked the tough and hard question, “Why!”
And quite honestly there is no comfort that human flesh can bring. Quite honestly, any words that I might say, bring about a ‘sting’. Except, perhaps, the words, “Just do the next thing!”
It’s just not always good news. And we may never know ‘why.’ But, we have the choice- to read what we will, to believe what we will, to do as we choose – you see, ‘in the beginning’ yes, if you are believing, ‘God created…’ all that makes YOU.
And there is no ‘love’ – without truth. There is ‘NO LOVE’ in a lie. Yet, we cling to the things that tickle our ears, yet, they actually ‘steal, kill and destroy’ and we don’t even notice what’s died!
We can turn the page, or click the remote – but God is God, He IS ABOVE -Above all things, whether we believe it or not- and He loves us MOST! He gave us CHOICE – so that we might choose from our heart to turn to our Creator and say, “Thank You! I acknowledge Your LOVE!”
“But how can a God of love cause all this pain?”
“Let us not forget the beginning again!” ” In the beginning, the fruit of the trees ALL, except the one… Thus, the fall…
He didn’t create us to be robots! He didn’t wire us to ‘HAVE TO’ love Him. NO! He gave us the choice to acknowledge His care, to see His provision, in everything that’s there! “The Lord is my Shepherd…” He’s a personal God, if we don’t call Him ‘MINE’ He waits…
…and He sometimes ‘MAKES us to lie DOWN…’ when it wasn’t part of our plan –
But He opens our eyes and we see…’He makes us lie down on pastures of green’ and ‘His grace taught our hearts to fear’ and what was blind now is seeing that HIS HAND… has a hold of me, even here.
So what might not be ‘good news’ in the beginning actually becomes ‘Good News’ in the end – because God our Father in heaven, has provided His Son and His grace, and all the bad and even the ugly, He somehow has dimmed, because He lifted my head and He touched my brokenness brought on by sin. Not with ‘itchy’ coverings sewn by myself, but by covering me with the blood of the Lamb and giving me peace and forgiveness of great wealth!
He made it all work together, ‘all’ work together, for good. The waves still go crashing, but He…
He’s got His Hand guiding my course, and He says, “You are Mine!  and I praise Him and thank Him and melt in His Hand and say, “Dear Jesus, I love you! I am completely Yours!”