Tag: be still my soul

Cancer Hope: A Hymnal and a Phone Message

It was a day of great sickness after chemo. I opened a hymnal on my bookshelf. It opened to Be Still My Soul by Kathrina von Schlegel.

In a horrible physical and emotional state, the words jumped off the page for me. Just for me. I felt the Lord unveil these words personally, to me. . .

Be Still my Soul. The Lord is on thy side . . .

After great trials and this physical pain, I honestly forgot, that the Lord I believed in and asked to come in my life, was “on my side.”

I struggled in my faith. But the hymn:
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain

Actively reading this phrase, I understood immediately, the Lord could see it all. Faith ignited in a second through the reading, (not even the singing) of this hymn.

(Quite honestly, I had no idea the melody. Old hymns weren’t regularly played at my contemporary Bible-teaching church.)

I read more:

Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.”

And when you fight a cancer battle, it does come into the mind, “Am I going to make it?”

God knew I was asking and God answered me through a phone call, (though I will confess, God showed me other glimpses of my healing along the way until I finally believed completely).

A young 13-year old, Landon, (whom I had spent some moments with to get started playing his guitar), learned I was sick with breast cancer.

He not only prayed for me, but he sought the Lord in His Bible for answers and hope.

Landon called me, on August 23rd, 2010.

I didn’t hear the call. It went to voice-mail. I’m so glad it did. I replayed it over and over again. Here is the voice mail I saved:
“Hello Ms. Toni, this is Landon. I just wanted to read you some scriptures that the Lord gave to me for you. It is from Psalm 18:

“I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies . . .


He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from the powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support . . .


As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.

For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect . . .
He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.


You give me Your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me;
I pursued my enemies and overtook them; I did not turn back till they were destroyed. I crushed them so that they could not rise; they fell beneath my feet.

You armed me with strength for the battle; you made my adversaries bow at my feet. You made my enemies turn their back in flight, and I destroyed my foes.

They cried for help, but there was no one to save them- to the LORD, but he did not answer…
The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God my Savior!”

Yes, Landon read his Bible to me on the phone and he left this message.

“You made my enemies turn their back in flight, and I destroyed my foes . . . ” This was amazing.

The precious phone message, Psalm 18, and the hymn Be Still My Soul mean so much to me.

I share what I put down those many years ago as music therapy for myself in my cancer battle. I hope it brings peace and rest of mind for someone as they draw near to Jesus.

He promises to draw near: For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” Romans 10:13.

Music Therapy/ Painted Bible by legacystudio.co

Please feel free to share this with any friends or family unable to sleep or rest during a physical or emotional challenge. Thanks – toniryp

 2 Be still, my soul; your God will undertake
to guide the future as he has the past;
your hope, your confidence, let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
his voice who ruled them while he lived below.

4 Be still, my soul; the hour is hast’ning on
when we shall be forever with the Lord,
when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still my soul; when change and tears are past,
all safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Source: Christian Worship: Hymnal #847

God’s All. Man’s All.

Promises by Anneliese Rypkema
Watercolor by Anneliese Rypkema


Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Psalm 103:1.

All that’s within me. Do I bless?

 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:

Do I know some of His gracious gifts. Could I ever know them all?

What are the good reports?

 He forgives all our iniquities.

He heals all our diseases (Psalm 103:3).

All? Bless the Lord because He forgive all my sin and failure?

What are our iniquities? How quickly we forget?

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God Romans 3:23. All of mankind has fallen short. All of man have gone their own way. As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one Romans 3:10.

For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, And hewn themselves cisterns—broken cisterns that can hold no water Jeremiah 2:13.

Am I guilty of these evils. Will the Lord forgive my stubbornness?

Who is God that I should bless? Do I give ear to His Word?

He heals all my diseases? All my sicknesses? He heals in His time?

Do I scoff at this? Or am I willing to hear? Can I be still and know who is the LORD?

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness” 2 Timothy 3:16.

In this day of justice, who will execute it? What does the Bible have to say about this?

The Lord executes righteousness
And justice for all who are oppressed. Psalm 103.

Who executes justice for the oppressed,
Who gives food to the hungry.
The Lord gives freedom to the prisoners.

The Lord opens the eyes of the blind;
The Lord raises those who are bowed down;
The Lord loves the righteous.
The Lord watches over the strangers;
He relieves the fatherless and widow;
But the way of the wicked He turns upside down Psalm 146:7-9.

Do I bless the Lord for all of this? I have choice..

We all have choice.

Today. The choice is mine to make. This day.

Can I trust God? What are the benefits when I choose this path?

“Yet to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” John 1:12.

All who receive and believe in Jesus become His children. God’s very own . . .

Do I believe? Have I received? These are the questions in these present dark ages.

Do I choose to walk it alone? Or do I choose to trust all to Him?

If faith is the victory that overcomes the world for whosover is born of God, (1John 5:4), then I can choose to strip my garments of stubbornness and strife. I can put on the Lord Jesus Christ and believe in Him. I can grow to know all He has done for me.

Or not?

The loss? All.

So, what’s my choice this day?

I surrender all.

Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name . . .

He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the children of Israel.

The Lord is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.

He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever.

He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor punished us according to our iniquities.

For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;

As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

As a father pities his children, So the Lord pities those who fear Him.

For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.

For the wind passes over it, and it is gone, And its place remembers it no more.

But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting On those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children,

To such as keep His covenant, And to those who remember His commandments to do them.

The Lord has established His throne in heaven, And His kingdom rules over all.

Bless the Lord, you His angels,Who excel in strength, who do His word, Heeding the voice of His word.

Bless the Lord, all you His hosts, You ministers of His, who do His pleasure.

Bless the Lord, all His works, In all places of His dominion.

Bless the Lord, O my soul! Psalm 103:7-22.

Our Hope In God Will Not Be Shaken. Be Still My Soul.

The Word of God. Hymns. Music Therapy. God’s help and comfort for us right NOW.

In a shattered world, where do we find real, living, powerful, present comfort? The Bible tells us in Psalm 119, our comfort comes from the Word of life.

When we have no words to pray, Psalm 119 provides the prayers:

Deal bountifully with Your servant,
That I may live and keep Your word.
 Open my eyes, that I may see
Wondrous things from Your law.
I am a stranger in the earth;
Do not hide Your commandments from me.
My soul breaks with longing
For Your judgments at all times.
You rebuke the proud—the cursed,
Who stray from Your commandments.
Remove from me reproach and contempt,
For I have kept Your testimonies.
Princes also sit and speak against me,
But Your servant meditates on Your statutes.
 Your testimonies also are my delight
And my counselors Psalm 119:17-24.

Yes, God is not silent. He speaks. His Word shows us the way.

Do we desire to be children of light in a dark place? What do we do?

Ephesians 5: 18-20 gives us instruction:

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to reckless indiscretion. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your hearts to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Now is time to speak aloud truth. The Bible says, “Thy Word is truth,” John 17:17. We either believe this or not. God gives us choice. He sees each man’s heart, even if mankind thinks he’s his own person not needing Jesus.

He, (Jesus) came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. But to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God— children born not of blood, nor of the desire or will of man, but born of God John 1:11-13.

Who is born of God? Those who believe in His name. What can we proclaim as true about Him regarding our lives today? Speak aloud Be Still My Soul by Kathrina von Schlegel:

Be Still my Soul, the Lord is on thy side. Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide,

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still my soul, thy best and heavenly friend, Through thorny ways, leads to a joyful end . . . Be Still My Soul

Be still, my soul! for God will undertake
to guide the future surely as the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul! the waves and winds still know
the voice  who ruled them while He dwelt below. 

Maybe our hope and our confidence is shaken a bit, but we will not be greatly shaken. We will choose this minute, and move about by the power of the Spirit of God to know Him more and be still. 

Rejoicing always, praying without ceasing, and in everything giving thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for us. ( 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.)

Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth” Psalm 46:10.

Are we on God’s side? 

He’s on our side. 

He will guide the future.

 Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
and all is darkened in the vale of tears,
then shall you better know his love, his heart,
who comes to soothe your sorrow and your fears.

Do we have His love? His hope?

 God’s heart beats with constant love for us. He doesn’t change. His ways are unsearchable. Do we believe in Jesus?

Be still, my soul: the hour is hast’ning on
when we shall be forever with the Lord,
when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.


Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
all safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8a.

 May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ -2 Thessalonians 3:5.

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with . . .  singing.
—Zephaniah 3:17

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.
—2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Our hope is our faith in a true and living God. 

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them – 1 John 4:16. 

You, me, we can trust Him always.

The sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
—Romans 8:18.

Music Therapy of the Hymn Be Still My Soul and Psalm 18 is provided to meditate on God’s Promises. He alone is true to His Word: 

You O LORD, keep my lamp burning. My God turns my darkness into light. With Your help I can advance against a troop, and with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, His way is perfect. The word of the Lord is flawless and He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. For who is God beside the Lord? And who is a Rock except our God? Psalm 18: 28, 29, 30, 31.

In any present darkness, a breath to praise brings the Lord’s presence of light.

“Be still my soul, the Lord is in thy side. Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide. In every change, He faithfully will remain.

Be still my soul, thy best and heavenly friend, through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.”(Hymn, Be Still My Soul by Katharina von Schlegel).

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress, My God, my strength, in whom I will trust . . .

He sent from above, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy, from those who hated me, for they were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the LORD was my support.

He brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me . . . For who is God, except the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God?

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect . . . The LORD lives! Blessed be my Rock!

It is God who avenges me . . . Therefore I will give thanks to You, O LORD . . . And sing praises to Your name” Psalm 18.

I recorded Be Still My Soul with portions of Psalm 18 in the midst of my cancer battle 10 years ago. Bald, sick from chemo, weak, anxious about finances, and school lessons and schedules, kid’s health, etc., yet speaking and singing hymns was God’s living and breathing therapy for me.

He lifted me. The LORD God, Creator of the heavens and earth and everything in it held me up. The prayers of family and the saints far and wide were heard by the Lord.

His hand was on our family. He gave exceptional gifts to my kids. God was faithful, (even in my faithlessness at times). What a gracious, compassionate God, slow to anger, abounding in mercy and forgiveness, (Ex. 34:6,7).

Yes, I believe God’s Word. He touched me physically, emotionally, and spiritually and kept me during a very dark time, and continues each and every day continuing.

“I LOVE the LORD, because He has heard My voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live . . . ” Psalm 116:1,2.

And of my days, there will be no end. All because of Jesus taking all my failure on the cross. He forgives me. He cleansed me. He gives me hope today. He is risen, and He continually raises me up and rescues me.

And He stretches His arms out and offers this to all who will believe. “Yes, Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief. Increase my faith.”

If there is one person this blesses, it’s enough for me -Toni

Help for the Restless Spirit: Be Still My Soul / Psalm 18

Music therapy, vibration of strings to move fretful waters of heart and mind plus the reading of God’s Word = rest, refreshment, revelation, revival.

When we draw near to God, He will draw near to us.

Take 3 minutes to meditate in a hymn and a psalm and discover the transforming hope and help of the Lord. He abides in our praise. Praise Him actively, today.

I write this for myself. I pray there is someone else that will be renewed in spirit and mind this day by actively meditating on the great and precious promises of God through these gems of the past:

When the restlessness of mind, body, and spirit overwhelms, there is power in the hymns and psalms. Be Still My Soul & Psalm 18 are heart and mind transforming.

This is recorded for one purpose alone, therapy. Do you know someone who might be feeling alone? Restless? Confused? Overwhelmed?

Consider sharing this meditation of hymn and psalm.

Be renewed, now. Meditating on the word and God’s truth rescues us.

Psalm 18.

I will love You, O Lord, my strength.
2 The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised;
So shall I be saved from my enemies.

4 The pangs of death surrounded me,
And the floods of ungodliness made me afraid.
5 The sorrows of Sheol surrounded me;
The snares of death confronted me.
6 In my distress I called upon the Lord,
And cried out to my God;
He heard my voice from His temple,
And my cry came before Him, even to His ears.

7 Then the earth shook and trembled;
The foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken,
Because He was angry.
8 Smoke went up from His nostrils,
And devouring fire from His mouth;
Coals were kindled by it.
9 He bowed the heavens also, and came down
With darkness under His feet.
10 And He rode upon a cherub, and flew;
He flew upon the wings of the wind.
11 He made darkness His secret place;
His canopy around Him was dark waters
And thick clouds of the skies.
12 From the brightness before Him,
His thick clouds passed with hailstones and coals of fire.

13 The Lord thundered from heaven,
And the Most High uttered His voice,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
14 He sent out His arrows and scattered [e]the foe,
Lightnings in abundance, and He vanquished them.
15 Then the channels of the sea were seen,
The foundations of the world were uncovered
At Your rebuke, O Lord,
At the blast of the breath of Your nostrils.

16 He sent from above, He took me;
He drew me out of many waters.
17 He delivered me from my strong enemy,
From those who hated me,
For they were too strong for me.
18 They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
But the Lord was my support.
19 He also brought me out into a broad place;
He delivered me because He delighted in me.

20 The Lord rewarded me according to my righteousness;
According to the cleanness of my hands
He has recompensed me.
21 For I have kept the ways of the Lord,
And have not wickedly departed from my God.
22 For all His judgments were before me,
And I did not put away His statutes from me.
23 I was also blameless before Him,
And I kept myself from my iniquity.
24 Therefore the Lord has recompensed me according to my righteousness,
According to the cleanness of my hands in His sight.

25 With the merciful You will show Yourself merciful;
With a blameless man You will show Yourself blameless;
26 With the pure You will show Yourself pure;
And with the devious You will show Yourself shrewd.
27 For You will save the humble people,
But will bring down haughty looks.

28 For You will light my lamp;
The Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.
29 For by You I can run against a troop,
By my God I can leap over a wall.
30 As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

31 For who is God, except the Lord?
And who is a rock, except our God?
32 It is God who arms me with strength,
And makes my way perfect.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of deer,
And sets me on my high places.
34 He teaches my hands to make war,
So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

35 You have also given me the shield of Your salvation;
Your right hand has held me up,
Your gentleness has made me great.
36 You enlarged my path under me,
So my feet did not slip.

37 I have pursued my enemies and overtaken them;
Neither did I turn back again till they were destroyed.
38 I have wounded them,
So that they could not rise;
They have fallen under my feet.
39 For You have armed me with strength for the battle;
You have [i]subdued under me those who rose up against me.
40 You have also given me the necks of my enemies,
So that I destroyed those who hated me.
41 They cried out, but there was none to save;
Even to the Lord, but He did not answer them.
42 Then I beat them as fine as the dust before the wind;
I cast them out like dirt in the streets.

43 You have delivered me from the strivings of the people;
You have made me the head of the [j]nations;
A people I have not known shall serve me.
44 As soon as they hear of me they obey me;
The foreigners [k]submit to me.
45 The foreigners fade away,
And come frightened from their hideouts.

46 The Lord lives!
Blessed be my Rock!
Let the God of my salvation be exalted.
47 It is God who avenges me,
And subdues the peoples under me;
48 He delivers me from my enemies.
You also lift me up above those who rise against me;
You have delivered me from the violent man.
49 Therefore I will give thanks to You, O Lord, among the Gentiles,
And sing praises to Your name.

50 Great deliverance He gives to His king,
And shows mercy to His anointed,
To David and his descendants forevermore.

“Today, today.” I hear Jesus call. Let’s hear His voice and take hold of all He is, (our Everything), and actively give Him praise that we might celebrate the victories He has for us, now and forever.

Cancer with a little “c” helped me SEE Christ with a capital “C”

   

(God’s Hand painting: JonathanRypkema, 2010.)

I didn’t begin to write until my cancer fight.

But, I had to write, if only for myself.

God placed on my heart to write that I might remember good themes while facing the battle before me.

Cancer changes you. For me,  it was for good.

I had many cancers of thought and attitude as well, growing in my heart after “life happens,” in other words,  great affliction and testing.

Through a flood of trial, thought patterns of fear, anger, and uncertainty came over me through the course of a day and the battle felt too great to overcome, yes, even in the Lord. 

Yes, “My flesh and my heart,” did fail, but “God was the strength of my heart and my portion forever” Psalm  73:26. 

The physical battle of cancer kicked me into a renewed faith to live, abide, and trust in God, moment by moment.

Has your life been rudely interrrupted by something tramatic and painful? 

God did not “cause” this cancer, but He is in control and He most certainly “allowed” this trial in my life. 

It’s as if I ws “blind” to many wonderful things about God, and He allowed me to “SEE HIM” in my agony like never before.

So much so, I became what some might say, a “Jesus Freak,” so to speak!

How will we know God is All-sufficient until we’re allowed to be in a place where we have no sufficiency in ourselves.

After the cancer diagnosis, I grew strong through the Word of God by day,  but, I admit,  at night, fear would come rushing in to envelope me.

I recited aloud scriptures I had memorized. They permeated deep inside me, increasing my faith in a God I couldn’t see, but I believed was drawing near to me, personally, individually, intimately.

I prayed the name of Jesus, over and again. Victory of anxious thoughts was won moment by moment.

Weeks before the cancer diagnosis, I was feeling pains in my pelvic bone and excessive fatigue. After the diagnosis, before the scans, I feared the cancer had spread to my bones. Would I have a fourth stage diagnosis?

One particular night I felt compelled to get out of bed, to literally fall prostrate before the Lord.

I prayed,

“Lord God, I’m afraid this cancer has  metastasized to my bones. Please heal me. Heal my bones.”

I went back to bed. The verse in 2 Kings came to mind, “Elisha sent a messenger to say to him, “Go, wash yourself seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will be restored and you will be cleansed.”
I felt the crazy desire to pray in this manner, seven times. 

So, I prayed on my face that night seven times.

I prayed in Jesus’ name for mercy and healing of my body. 

Weeks later, my bone scan results were clear.  However, a large cancer tumor, remained in my breast. What to do?

My father, Dr. Ernst E. Born, M.D. had passed away some years before.  He was an oncologist/surgeon in Arizona. 

As I grew up,  Poloroid pictures of tumors, surgically removed  that day lay on our kitchen counter.  This was a great encouragement for me to take vitamins and strive to be healthy.

I was a natural and alternative medicine person through and through.

After the tests and the diagnosis, my schedule was filled quickly with surgeon and oncology visits. 

The woman behind the surgeon’s office counter was from church.  A Christian song  played from the speaker in the room as I waited. 

I heard a voice, not audibly, but impressed upon me, from behind saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” as I walked in to meet the oncologist. 

“This is the way, walk in it,” chemo, surgery, traditional medicine, but I had a peace that passed all my understanding. God was with me. 

Part of the  chemo I had to endure was nicknamed by my oncology nurse, The Red Devil, because it was red and it kills cancer. (Adriamycin was used decades before by my dad to fight cancer. He would’ve been happy.)

Chemo has it’s good, I suppose, and it’s bad, and ugly.Chemo was the hardest thing I had ever been through in my life, and I birthed eleven children, completely natural.

After my third treatment, my dear friend drove me home after I was loaded up with the prescribed chemo for that day. Within an hour I was sick. My body wasn’t used to such invasion.

I laid down after my friend Andrea had prayed for me. She reluctantly left me to have some rest while my sweet neighbor Estelle had the kids for a bit. With my eyes closed, I felt I could feel death in my bones.

Anyway, I started talking to God with fear,  “Lord, I think they misjudged the amount of chemo.”

I thought I was dying. I was looking for lights or brightness.  I saw none.

Anyway, I saw darkness. But suddenly there was a door.

It was open. There was light shining out of the door. Then I saw His hands, palms side up. Scarred, but healed.

“Not all know Me as their King,” (words from Glen Keane’s children’s book, Adam Raccoon and the Mighty Giant,  I read thousands of times), were the thoughts that I heard clearly in my heart.

I knew right then, I was going to live. God gave me marching orders for my future.

The hands that were stretched out in the vision had the scars from the nails.

Jesus knows all about scars . . . because He laid down His life for each one of us. Especially me. Especially you. Everyone.

And, as best I can, being in this fleshy human body, with many weaknesses and temptations, I would like to lay down my life for Him. 

One day at a time. Moment by moment.

God allows us trial. He has us enter battles of emotion, physical weakness, spiritual fatigue. But God,. . . 

He faithfully brings us through. He brought me through. I was carried by the prayers of the saints, through His Word, and , one more point to my story,

He brought me to the hymns. I’m a guitarist. I came to know the Lord in a contemporary church. But He allowed trial. And, for someone who doesn’t sit well, He allowed great stillness.

 That same afternoon, after the third chemo treatment, after the vision,  I opened a hymnal on the shelf to Be Still My Soul:

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.

Its as if I never knew this truth, and it was for me, right then: The Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

The Spirit of the living God fell afresh on me and ministered a breath of restoration and hope in me.

I could go out in peace and  the courage of God.

He loved me through my times of doubt and fear, and He loves us still through our struggles. He meets us there when we seek Him.

God encouraged me, “Draw near to Me, and I’ll draw near to you.” 

I learned Be Still My Soul on the guitar and sang it to myself often. It’s recorded with parts of Psalm 18, to be music therapy for me, and hopefully someone else going through trial.

Be still, my soul: your God will undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds shall know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

 Katharina Amalia Dorothea von Schlegel

.

Let me know if my story brings comfort in any way. It makes it all worth it. Every bit of it.

Prayer and Encouragement: Be Still My Soul

“Be Still my soul  . . .” The  old hymn reminds. 

How do I “be still?”

This is the question as the clock continues to move time.

Fears flood in an instant.

Stresses press on our back.

Pain wears down the weary body. There are tears on the inside, like rain no one can see.

We’re in this marathon race. It’s not how we start, it’s how we finish.

We must finish. We must finish well. But “How?”

With unity. Not isolated and alone. That spells defeat and loneliness.

Reminding each other to remind ourselves:

Be Still my Soul. The Lord is on thy side . . .
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.”

We must remember God is King over everything.

“Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 
not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:22-25.

Our prayer to Jesus: “There is so much change. But You, O LORD remain.

We draw near to You, and You draw near when we do.

O God, help us, today in such darkness, take hold of Your light and believe and rest . . .
in Your faithfulness.

“Be still, my soul: Our God doth undertake
To guide the future, as You have the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

We pray in a hymn, dear Lord.

Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
Your voice Who ruled them while You dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart, And all is darkened in the vale of tears, 
Then shalt we  better know Your love, Your heart,
Who comes to soothe our sorrow and our fears.

Dear Lord, comfort the downcast with Your Spirit, we draw near.

“Be still, my soul: the hour is hast’ning on
When we shall be forever with You Lord.
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.”

Dear Father in heaven, we bow our heads together. The most important change that needs be, is inside of me—Increase my faith, that I might stand, and follow You, as You take hold of my hand.

“Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing,  You, O Lord on high; to
Acknowledge You in all our words and ways,
So shall You  view us with a well-pleased eye.

Be still, my soul: the Son of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.”

We bow our heads, we pray to You. We end our words  and whole heartedly say:  “Our soul is still, as we set our minds on the hill, where You laid down Your life, as a perfect sacrifice, forgiving my failures, Dear Lord Jesus, Thank You.“
(1) “Be Still My Soul” by Katherine von Schlegel. 

Get up! And fight with Hymn and Psalm

Crisis comes. The “fight” begins.  The battle is greatest against thoughts of fear and uncertainty. “The Lord is on thy side,” the old hymn reminds. But these words feel far removed at this time.
“Be Still My soul.” The words learned during past trial, now echo from deep below. “Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side. Bear patiently, the cross of grief or pain.”
“Patiently.” That word. Who would ever choose that word?
Bear in l-o-n-g – s-u-f-f-e-r-i-n-g are my thoughts’ reasoning.  And, like a thread of continuation, “Love suffers long and is kind” pops in head.
“1 Corinthians 13 is impossible with man!” is my next exclamation. “I need a Savior.” is my heart’s cry.
Sorrow and fatigue leave me by a “Slough of Despond,” Just as in the old classic I have read. But, the Hymn of faith fights to bring truth to my lips,  “Leave to Thy God, to order and provide. In every change, He faithful will remain. Be still my soul.”
The battle rages against doubt and more doubt: “I can’t do this.” “God’s plan is not for good.”
“Why did He allow this?” My heart fails, only to remind me of a verse hidden there:
“My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26.
Remembrance is as if picking up a sword, and doubt flees. “Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73: 25, 26 reminded me what I forgot.
Forever. That includes today.
But God is …
“Be still my soul, thy best, thy heavenly friend, through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.”
So, I take up a hymn and a Psalm for strength. I breath the words that my heart and mind have learned and I speak aloud that my whole being hears the sound:
“Be still my soul. Thy God doth undertake. To guide thy future, as He has the past. Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake,
in every change, he faithful will remain. Be still my soul. The waves and wind still know His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.”
Faith restored, I open up God’s word. Psalm 73 speaks so personal to me: “Truly God is good to Israel. To such as are pure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled; My steps had nearly slipped…”
“Thus my heart was grieved, and I was vexed in my mind. I was so foolish and ignorant; I was like a beast before You. NeverthelessI am continually with You;”
“You hold me by my right hand.”
“You will guide me with Your counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.”
“Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail;”
“But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:1,2,21-26.
My “forever” begins this minute, right now. Let us fight this battle with faith.
Join me? Let’s get up and get going in His strength. The Lord is on our side!
 
 
 
 

Speak in a hymn. "Be Still My Soul" Make melody in your heart to the Lord

“Be Still my soul … ” (1)
O God … How can it be? The reality? God help us see – that You are the Almighty. “Be Still my soul … Be Still my soul.” 
Words – are powerful. Let us speak old words together. With tears and pain, whether seen on the outside – it is raining within. Let us cry out with our whole heart  – “O God – increase our faith  – again.”
 Words penned in 1752, over 200 years ago, bring health to the soul, somehow. So, today, let us pray together, to our God Almighty and our Father in heaven, with old words, true, (yet first person is changed a few)-  that we might  comfort ourselves in You. Let us say together:    “Be Still my Soul.” 
“Be Still my soul, The Lord is on our side …
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to our God to order and provide;
In every change, You faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.”
“Dear God there is so much change. But You, O LORD remain. We draw near to You, and You draw near when we do. O God, help us, today in such darkness, take hold of Your light and believe and rest …
in Your faithfulness:
“Be still, my soul: Our God doth undertake
To guide the future, as You have the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
Your voice Who ruled them while You dwelt below.”
Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart, And all is darkened in the vale of tears, 
Then shalt we  better know Your love, Your heart,
Who comes to soothe our sorrow and our fears.
“Dear Lord, comfort the downcast with Your Spirit, we draw near.”
“Be still, my soul: the hour is hast’ning on
When we shall be forever with You Lord.
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.”
“Dear Father in heaven, we bow our heads together. The most important change that needs be, is that which must be done, inside of me. Increase my faith, that I might stand, and follow You, as You take hold of my hand:
“Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing,  You, O Lord on high; to
Acknowledge You in all our words and ways,
So shall You  view us with a well-pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Son of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.”
Today. Today! This is what You have given us. Teach us to pray. To talk with You the words of this hymn rather than complaint. Be merciful to us.
Teach us to trust.
Help us to take hold of You – who are Love, and let go of all lust. Let us put off the fight, and the anger, and the strife …
and let us make harmony as we sing Your melody throughout the rest of our life.
We bow our heads, we pray to You. We end our words  and whole heartedly say:  “Our soul is still, as we set our minds on the hill, where You laid down Your life, as a perfect sacrifice, forgiving my failures, Dear Lord Jesus, Thank You.”
(1) “Be Still My Soul” by Katherine von Schlegel.