Tag: doubt

The Day I Was Diagnosed With Cancer

After my cancer diagnosis, I began to write. This is from August 17, 2010. I’m thankful to be alive and give praise to the Lord today.

His Word helped keep me . . . this day . . . thankful. And He brought the help I needed with each and every moment, through my anger, my doubts, my fears, my sickness . . . He did.

On the day I found out I was to face a cancer battle, this was the Word of the Lord to me.

I hope this will be an encouragement to anyone going through some difficult times:

Bible Journal Along the way

Date: August 17, 2010

Today I was diagnosed with an invasive lobular, 5×7 cm- estrogen positive cancer tumor of the breast.

I have breast cancer.

In the evening, I opened my Bible to one of my favorite verses so I could see it on the page:

Jeremiah 33:3, Call unto Me and I will answer, and show you great and mighty things, which you know not of.

So, I decided to go off my Bible schedule and read Jeremiah today.

While Jeremiah was still confined in the courtyard of the guard, the word of the LORD came to him a second time:

“This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it—the LORD is his name:

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know” Jeremiah 33:1-3.

The Bible tells us that “the word of the LORD came to him a second time.” I’m encouraged. Jeremiah heard these words not once, but twice, from the Creator of the Universe, the Most High God, the LORD:

“Call to me and I will answer you. . .”

“I will tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

My ears are open. It seems in great affliction, the heart is ready to hear. I kept reading:

For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says about the houses in this city and the royal palaces of Judah that have been torn down to be used against the siege ramps and the sword in the fight with the Babylonians . . .

“Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security” Jeremiah 33:4-6.

This was the Word of God to Jeremiah concerning Judah and Israel, but on a day when you find out you have cancer and you open God’s Word . . .

it speaks of a tearing down against an enemy!

This is good news to my heart. My soul can breathe.

I can trust God. If He can do this for Judah and Israel, I can believe God to heal me.

I need faith for this battle. The Word of God will help increase my faith. 

“Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.”

“Dear Lord, I call to You. Show me great and mighty things through this trial. Give me understanding to Your Word. Help me believe! In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

“Give thanks to the LORD Almighty, for the LORD is good; his love endures forever.” For I will restore the fortunes of the land as they were before,’ says the LORD. 12

I am a survivor. The Lord has done great things for me, and I praise Him each day for life today.

Please let me know if you are going through a great trial so I can be praying for you.

Thanks,

Toni

In time of need: Hymn-Therapy

I had salvation, believing what Jesus did for me on the cross, but, at a time of sickness and dread, I opened a hymnal on the shelf.
“Be Still my Soul,” He spoke to me that day, “the Lord is on thy side.“(1)
His arm reach out in love and His hand took hold of mine. My Savior met me in the cold, dark hour and ministered life to me through a hymn.
“He is on my side.” My heart was revived.
The words ministered to me, the truth of His love and faithfulness, when all my mind kept rehearsing before, “Won’t He give me a break?”
I came to know the Lord with contemporary choruses of praise. Though God allowed great brokenness and loss within my life, He faithfully ministered greater light and life, and His presence in my time of need. I would never exchange a moment of it, not for anything.
This hymnal proved to be a treasure chest of hope, life, and promise. The Spirit moved me with increased faith as my mind thought on His  Almighty power.
Today, I write, in the face of a battle, with enemies of Overwhelmed and Fear, and Discouragement lurking. I find a Charles Wesley hymn written around the armor of God in Ephesians 6, published in 1749.
God’s therapy, or counseling session for me, is that my mind think on words like these:
Soldiers of Christ, arise,
And put your armor on,
Strong in the strength which God supplies
Through His eternal Son.
Strong in the Lord of hosts,
And in His mighty pow’r,
Who in the strength of Jesus trusts
Is more than conqueror.
“Strong in the strength which God supplies,” because He can clearly see, I am not strong, in and of myself, I am tired and weak. God counsels with direction that I must meet:
Stand then in His great might,
With all His strength endued,
And take, to arm you for the fight,
The panoply of God;
That, having all things done,
And all your conflicts passed,
Ye may o’ercome through Christ alone,
And stand entire at last.
I will admit, the word panoply was not in my vocabulary, so I looked it up. The dictionary spelled it out in this way:

pan·o·ply
noun
1. a complete or impressive collection of things.
2. a splendid display.
3. a complete set of arms or suit of armor.
“Stand then in His great might,” yes, I must take hold and clothe myself with all that’s true, and the collection of “armor” God has equipped us with.
We don’t “wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rules of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Ephesians 6, KJV, speaks solid and clear of who our real enemy is. We must fight and remember Who it is that is with us handing us all we need to win:
“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (2)
The hymn inspires and exhorts. Actively reaching out a Hand to pick me up:
Leave no unguarded place,

No weakness of the soul,
Take every virtue, every grace,
And fortify the whole.
From strength to strength go on,
Wrestle and fight and pray,
Tread all the pow’rs of darkness down
And win the well-fought day.
Yes, “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” (3) This is it! This is my therapy session with a hymn. This is direction, hope and how I will keep a sound mind.
I will speak this hymn and clothe myself with the armor of God that the faith God increases in me can pass any test. How about you? Has this hymn touched you?
Let us praise God before the “Red Sea is parted.” Let us praise God ever-more. To God be the glory, Strong in the strength which God supplies
Through His eternal Son.
Strong in the Lord of hosts,
And in His mighty pow’r,
Who in the strength of Jesus trusts
Is more than conqueror. 
(1) Katharina A. von Schlegel, 1752
(2) Ephesians 6:14-17, NIV.
(3) Ephesians 6:18.
 

Before God parts the Red Sea, Just Keep Singing of God’s Victory

It was time for a new song. A new attitude. Of Faith and belief.

This happened to be the very beginnings of a New Year.

Those who came to the Sanctuary, for the first mid-week service of the New Year, of praise and pronouncing truth from God’s Word, heard the Pastor ask,

“What do you hear God speaking to you for this coming year?” Then he offered to share the mike.

Everyone was thinking, and some came forward to speak. I heard not audibly, mind you, but impressed upon my heart,

“Sing God’s victory song, before the victory.”
“Before I part the Red Sea, sing praises to My name.”

The starting is easy, it’s the persevering that’s tough. As the old saying goes, “It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish that counts.”

My thoughts often raced at an accelerated pace, filled with new courage, but then Fear came running to trip up the steps. But God is greater, each step of the way, my mind would gird up thoughts: “Guard your heart.

Guard your mind.

Guard your tongue. And then, God’s gentle Spirit would remind,  ‘The battle’s Mine:'”

“Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” (Jeremiah 33:3).

The Word of God directs continually.

By February, only weeks after my “mountaintop moment,” I felt the crashing of waves and fear enveloped me.

The fight to praise was overcome by fretfulness.

God prepares us ahead of time, giving the remedy to stand and succeed.  Do you feel as me? Do you face a giant sea of circumstance? That always shouts out, “There is no chance!”

Then an army comes: Fatigue, Fear, Failure, and chariots of Doubt and Depression at my heart’s door. Their main goal is to defeat and destroy.

What is God’s plan for us? We must keep His plan in view and continue to walk in victory. The Battle is rough and we grow weak. Yes, the Lord watches us be as the disciple’s story in Mark 4:35:

On the same day, when evening had come, He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side.”  Now when they had left the multitude, they took Him along in the boat as He was. And other little boats were also with Him.  And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling.  But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?”

Can we remember to sing the victory song at such a time as this?

Oh, how sad to look as the disciples in my trials. Forgetting that God is on the boat with me. God’s Word is the remedy that I need.

“Lord Jesus, help me read, and receive, and let Your Word transform me. How I fail and become faint-hearted and forget that You care. I forget that You see. I forget that You are with me. My thoughts become circumstancial only, . . .
instead of praising Your Name, trusting fully.

Mark 4:39, Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.  But He said to them, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?”
I am thankful that His voice sounds compassionate to my heart. Perhaps today, you and I can make a fresh new start.

Let us hear His voice, Be still, and know that I am God; Psalm 46:10.
Let get back on the horse again. Let us give God praise for being gentle and kind, and though we may stumble, we will not fall, “for the LORD upholds us with his hand.” Psalm 37:24.

Let us lift His Victorious name in the midst of our storm, and watch Him deliver us from all harm. Amen, He is able.
Amen. He loves.

Together we will worship and lift up His Glorious name. “Jesus, we thank You for Your love everlasting.”

He Still Changes Water to Wine


“Read the Bible.” We hear people say.
But even when opened, do the words feel dry on the page?

It’s OK. God must know, because the only thing He gets at times from me at best, is a moan.
But, in the end, I can still say, “Thank You Lord. Thank You Lord, for putting up with me. Oh God, I’m confused and feel alone. Will You help me?”

So, the Word seemed dry, not moving me at all, but my eye caught focus at the bottom of the page of a short Spurgeon poem:

“Lo, Moses scatters plagues of wrath, A ministry of fire and death, But our Immanuel cometh forth, with life and love in every breath.
He turned their water into blood, for vengeance was his dread design: But, thanks to our incarnate God, He turned our water into wine.” (1)

For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. John 1:17.

Jesus is unlike all the rest.

Five minutes in devotion to God, with an opening of His word with a few Spurgeon thoughts, I am changed from a whine to hope.

Jesus still changes water to wine.

Water is necessary. Like food and roof over our heads. We have school, or work. We all are under some authority.

We move quickly, we plan out our day, and we grab a water bottle as we go our way.

Water sustains.

The Holy Spirit is likened as water in the Word.  It’s God’s Word that refreshes, the Holy Spirit directs us to be touched by Jesus. He changes us and gives us a song:

And when I think, that God His Son not sparing, sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in. That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died, to take away my sin. 

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee. How great Thou art. How great Thou art. Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee, How great Thou art,
How great Thou art.

Jesus still changes water into wine. For me, my whine to a song, that I might rejoice and experience His fullness of grace and truth, this day.
Let us celebrate today. We’re simply passing through. Let’s let others know about our eternal home:

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation, and take me home, what joy shall fill my heart. Then I shall bow, in humble adoration, and then proclaim, 
“My God how great Thou art!” 

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee. How great Thou art. How great Thou art.
God is love. “Dear Lord give me understanding to know Your Name. Faithful and True, Merciful, Gracious, and Above all names:

“Lo, Moses scatters plagues of wrath, A ministry of fire and death, But our Immanuel cometh forth, with life and love in every breath.
He turned their water into blood, for vengeance was his dread design: But, thanks to our incarnate God, He turned our water into wine.”

Keep me singing dear Jesus, and drawing close to You that You might heal me and help me the entire day through:

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee. How great Thou art! How great Thou art. 

Poem taken from C.H. Spurgeon’s Devotional Bible. Hymn: How Great Thou Art.

Snapshots of Thankfulness to God through my doubts and confusion

I am thankful. Thankful to God, because He hears our cries for mercy.

But first, I must confess a snapshot of yesterday morning.

One of disappointment, confusion, stress, and unrest.

Yes, ultimately, I wasn’t disappointed about circumstances or people, (but, consciously, I might of thought myself to be), but because I truly believe the Lord is in control and that everything that happens is “filtered through the Father’s fingers,”

I need to be flat out honest here, in all reality, my anger and disappointment was toward God.

I believe in God. But yesterday morning, every ounce of my being was in warfare. I was fighting a battle in my mind, and my heart, I suppose, as I woke to face a challenging day.

Just do the next thing, words I remembered from Elisabeth Elliot came to mind, so I opened God’s Word,  in Psalm 34 in my rough state of being:

I will bless the Lord at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
 My soul shall make its boast in the Lord; . . .

I couldn’t find a song. It’s as if it were lost. I felt I was dangling in an ocean’s depths with seaweed around my neck.

In this snapshot of  my moments of confusion and doubt, I felt as if trying to believe His word, but as in a dream, unable to reach the destination.

Trying to find some solid foundation,  but the seaweed of confusion had me sunk below the surface.

“I sought the LORD, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears, . . .” 
More like, ” I fought the LORD, and doubt had silenced my cry.”

I read on in Psalm 34, but I was unable to grasp anything to bring rest and peace to my heart.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!

There is no want to those who fear Him.
 The young lions lack and suffer hunger;

But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.

Because of circumstance, I was sinking in unbelief. I later sent texts for prayer.
I called a family member who knows me—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Prayers to our God were given.

The next snapshot of the day, is the struggle to breathe in and out through activity and interaction, minute by minute, hour after hour.  And, all the while, fighting inside to find the air of Peace, and Truth, and Comfort, and Joy.

Just do the next thing . . . this thought, my only motivation.
But, in hectic and schedule, I walked through a door. His hand picked me up. His arms took hold of my weak flesh. He turned my lack into abundance.
God did.
The very One whom I was disappointed in before.

God reached out and touched my sinking heart by hands from . . . the Church. 
The Snapshot: People pooled together in energy ignited by the Lord, (because He did hear my cries. God does hear our voice.)  Out of the ocean’s depths of sorrow, I was picked up in an instant.

Immediately, lifted from heaviness to light was I.

So, this morning I write. “Thank you God for Your faithful love and grace. And Thank you Lord for Your hands touching me through the Church. Dear Lord, help us remember and believe past our unbelief:

The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their cry . . .
 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles.

 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the Lord delivers him out of them all,

I believe You dear Lord, and I thank You for Your Word, and the loving hands of Your Church.

I sought the Lord, and He heard me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces were not ashamed. 

To Psalm 34, the Lord’s faithfulness, and the Love of the Church, I say this new morning, Amen.”

The Snapshot: Joy.

 

A change of perspective after a look at Psalm 50

The media points out destruction and pain with pictures of loss, and sadness. O, how our hearts break.
O, the mysteries.
Could it be that God allows these trials to gather His lonely people together, to pour out His grace.

God’s ways are true and righteous altogether.

How our hearts are touched with each story of rescue. The sacrificial care given, the present provision. How mankind moves to help the hurting, to provide counsel for the broken hearted, to bring water to the thirsty.

Shelters are opened, people open their doors, meals are prepared, work crews move, and so much more . . .

How our hearts are ultimately touched  . . . by God:

Gather together to Me My saints [those who have found grace in My sight], those who have made a covenant with Me by sacrifice.

And the heavens declare His righteousness — rightness and justice; for God, He is judge. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! Psalm 50:5,6, Amplified.

Perhaps a Psalm, or words of an old hymn strike a chord of calm, and quiet within. Circumstances don’t change. Days are still troublesome and hard. But there has been an exchange.

The fret and anxiety has been given over to Him . . . Have we been seeking Him? His face? His daily word?

The mighty One, God the Lord, speaks and calls the earth from the rising of the sun to its setting. Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shines forth. 
Our God comes, and does not keep silence; a fire devours before Him, and round about Him a mighty tempest rages. (Psalm 50: 1-3 Amplified). 

The Word of God instructs. The Word speaks. The Word helps our hard hearts and blind eyes to see.
He calls to the heavens above and to the earth, that He may judge His people: Gather together to Me  My saints . . .

Hear, O My people, and I will speak; O Israel, I will testify to you and agains you; I am God, your God . . . Offer to God the sacrifice of thanksgiving; and pay your vows to the Most High, And call on Me in the day of trouble . . . (Psalm 50: 7,14).

I will deliver you, and you shall honor and glorify Me . . .” (Psalm 50: 15).

And so I train my hands for war, so to speak, and open an old hymn of Fanny Crosby:

Pass me not, O gentle Savior; Hear my humble cry! While on others Thou art calling, do not pass me by.

Let me at Thy throne of mercy Find a sweet relief; Kneeling there in deep contrition, Help my unbelief.

Trusting only in Thy merit, Would I seek Thy face, Heal my wound-ed bro-ken spirit Save me by Thy grace. 

Thou, the Spring of all my comfort, More than life to me! Whom have I on earth beside Thee? Whom in heaven but Thee?

Savior, Savior, hear my humble cry! While on others Thou art calling. do not pass me by. (Pass Me Not, O Gentle Savior, Fanny J. Crosby)

The Psalms turn around my thinking. The hymns give me cleansing words as I pray with hope to believe.

Let’s praise God in the darkness.

Let us praise God in the storm.

Let’s have thankful hearts that God finds us worthy,

to be a light in the night, as we wait together for morn.

Let us proclaim the Comfort He has brought us.

He has renewed, refreshed. He has made us Re-born.

He has given us rest.

Pulling our treasure from The Church Hymn Book, 1867, page 53

Taking some time each morning to glean from God’s Holy Word and Spurgeon, it seems, that very old words from hymns loudly speak, in language poetic, rich, and . . . timely.

“Great God, I love thy sacred word/ What light and  joy its leaves afford!/Thy precepts guide my doubtful way/Thy fear forbids my feet to stray.

Thy threatenings wake my slumbering eyes/ And warn me where my danger lies;/ They show me all my guilt and shame/ And make me prize the Savior’s name.

May this blest volume ever lie/ Close to my heart and near my eye;/ Till life’s last hour my thoughts engage/ And be my chosen heritage.”

So, in the morning, early and dark, I went digging for treasure that Spurgeon’s Devotional Bible had sparked.

I found old words written that made me rejoice in the Lord. The Church Hymn Book from 1867, full of costly treasures, all can afford.

“God in the gospel of his Son/ Makes his eternal counsels known;/ Where love in all its glory shines/ And truth is drawn in fairest lines.

Here sinners of an humble frame/ May taste his grace and learn his name./ May read in characters of blood/ The wisdom, power, and grace of God.

Here faith reveals to mortal eyes/ A brighter world beyond the skies;/ Here shines the light which guides our way/ From earth to realms of endless day.

Oh, grant us grace, almighty Lord/

To read and mark thy holy word,/ Its truths with meekness to receive/ And by its holy precepts live.”

Before the words were read this morning, I awoke with struggles and stresses stirring. But God’s breathed out message, and these long lost words, have proved to revive and set me again, on a straight and narrow course.

Let’s open His Word. Let’s sing the old songs. Oh God, help us humble ourselves, be teachable, and with joy, carry on!

"Though there be no fruit on the vine …"

Many years ago, I felt God impress upon my heart my life verse: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.  
I had no idea then, what God had for me in this verse. Even today, I yearn to grasp the depths of all it means. “What are You saying, Lord, at times like these?”
“What is Your will for me?” “What is Your will for me?” “What is Your will for me?“
And He responds, continually, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks …” I had no clue, back then, how very, very difficult these three things would prove to be.
“How can I rejoice in this?” “There’s no way I can pray!” “I refuse to give thanks in this!” Over and over, God allows me to see what’s inside of me. And, quite frankly, it ain’t pretty!
But Jesus. He loves me. He’s gentle. He’s patient. He’s kind and full of compassion. He hears my yelling and faithless thoughts. He sees my fret and knows my every thought.
How can God be so great and mighty as that? To still love me – even after my words and actions and … yes, being a brat!
There is no One like God on this earth.
But, wait.
He reached out from on high when I was in the depth of a pit. He pulled me out of great darkness and I could see, finally, the love in His eyes.
“Receive My love?” I felt Him ask of me.”
“I do, Lord. Come and live in my heart. Restore my soul. O God, don’t let go.”
Now, He abides in me. I’m simply a branch of His Vine. He is mine. He is mine. 
“No matter what you might go through, my child, I am here. And these words are your fortress and refuge. These words are your Rock that you might not slip or drown in sorrow or fear. I am the LORD, and this is my will you.”
“I see the conflicts press hard form the outside. I see the fear that entangles and grips at your very breath. I know the loss, the pain. I know death.”
“This is hard, this is dark, this is excruciating, I know. I am the LORD. I have gone before, I will carry you through. Keep your eyes on me, through this most difficult test, My Word is your life, yes, this is what you are to do: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks;” 
I will show you success and help you focus your mind, that you might be victorious one step at a time. Study my Word. Sing the Psalms in your heart. Gain wisdom and understanding, ask of Me and I will give.”
Do you believe … even in this? that I am Yours.  I care for you … now, rest.”
My life verse gives me instant direction. Will I scoff, or will I take the instruction? My response has already been written. I will sing it from my heart to my Chief Musician:

Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.

 The Lord God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer’s feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills.

Habakkuk 3:17-19. In response to my life verse, no matter what happens – this I pray will be my response. Continually. And with my Love, I will abide for all eternity!

 
 
 
 

Beginnings

New years. New months, new days, new moments. Refreshing beginnings. All things new.
Do we open the Book? Will we glean something new?
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Genesis 1:1.
What’s it all about? What does this have to do with me? I have so much to do, and don’t we already know what this Book says. But my eyes keep reading the very next verse,
And the earth was without form and void and darkness was on the face of the deep.
Void and darkness already? Isn’t God in control of all things? Didn’t He create and everything was magical and perfect? How in the world was there void and darkness even before verse 3? Do we read and have questions like these?
Is God aware of my questions and doubt?
All I know is, it seems words like void and darkness could be used to describe me. Well, not when I’m putting my best foot forward, but the real me inside. This is me, as I feel void in my natural sense.  I sense darkness in my nature. What do you think? All I know, is, it seems at times, that there’s no escape.
So, my eyes continue reading the words on the page.
And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. Genesis 1 verse 2. The Spirit of God moved.
God moved. Even without any other doing. In the midst of emptiness and darkness, He initiated a move. Apparently, He wasn’t in need of anything.
Today, as I read these words and I think, of my brain and my heart being 73% water, with emptiness and darkness caught up in the mix, (But), And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters … 
And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, “Let there be light; and there was light.”
Today, this day, I’ve read from the Beginnings. I didn’t get far, but I felt something stir within me. Could this Book be more than black and white on a page? For you and for me, the Spirit of God moved.
I will speak for myself, I hear Him speak to me: “Let there be light; and there was light,” on that day. Thousands upon thousands of years ago then, but also today, hope has lifted her head, and my eyes and my heart have chosen to receive.
If this is the first day of the rest of my life, then I will choose to take some time to read this Book daily. I will ask God to shine light on my emptiness and fill up the void.
So, in curiosity, I looked up Jesus as light, and John 8 verse 12, is recorded When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
God initiates. Do I choose, moment by moment, to follow?
 
 

Mind craze in the maze …

You and I live in a broken world. The attack, the battle, the unrest is in our minds. Playing havok with our peace, our thinking destroys us, even in our sleep.
There are pressures just to  survive. Our physical needs must be met or we’re weak, our emotional needs need met or we weep, our spiritual needs? There’s no time for that…
at least, that’s how we’ve been taught by professors to think.
Add to that, through the course of the day, media at our eyes notice constantly to say,  “You’re incomplete, you now  need this!” “You need more, and more – come out to our store!”
It’s like we entered the fairgrounds, striving to win the biggest prize. But it all seems twisted somehow –  impossible – and instead of that wonderful prize, (that we just saw with the other guy) –  we simply get the dollar-store size.
But out of nowhere, a ‘voice crying in the wilderness,’ says, “Turn around’. Where it came from, I’m not sure. I never heard a sound!
I’ve heard these words before, John the Baptist, we all know:  “Turn around , the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (1) But the mind brings the battle. Thoughts bring me down, when, unlike a child, I rebel and twist things around. The maze has me spinning, I feel I can no longer stand …
unlike a child, who simply takes the father’s hand.
“He was a weird dude, and his word went against what’s natural inside. Anyway, what would people think? The mind, the crazy games, the battles divide – “I’m not going to listen! This is judgement on his part. Who is he to tell me what I should do, beside!”
‘Turn around, the kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ …
“What if that’s true? Plain and simple. What do these words mean anyway? The craze continues, confusion follows through.”
“Today! Today! Come follow Me,
Turn around once for salvation and grace.
Make Me your Shepherd, that I might give you all you need. I AM the one who will make you to rest, to lie down on green pastures and lead you in what’s best… I am the One sent by the Father, I am the Son,
I have come that you might have life, abundant and blessed.”
“What makes me hesitate? What makes me stall? The battle rages – is this all there is to life after all?”
“Trust in Me and feed on My faithfulness. Delight yourself in Me, I am able to give you the desires of your heart.” “Today, today , I call you by name, I lead you out, I don’t drive you alone. Dwell in My pastures, I protect and provide, and I love you more than My life.”
“Follow Me through the gospels on the shelf.  Open it up and read it yourself. I am there, come with Me… ‘Today’ is the first day, of the rest of your life.”-Jesus
 
(1) (Matthew 3:2, paraphrase, mine).