Tag: Jesus

Answers From a Pearl Story

The phone’s misplaced.  A mini-computer loaded with personal dates, numbers, and important information is missing.

This sudden irritation brings about . . . a frantic search.

The moment of realization that something of value is missing brings about a halt of less important activity and heightens a new direction to find the lost item.

Change occurs.

After crisis,  a cancer diagnosis, scheduled chemo treatments, scheduled  surgery, or crashing disappointment, hurt and pain, there is realization of a loss—peace and security have disappeared. Crisis brings about search for answers.

Questions flood the intellect and emotions are restless.

I remember sitting in the infusion chair receiving my first chemo treatment. God sent a friend who gave me a story about a pearl merchant searching for precious pearls.

When this pearl merchant finally found a pearl of great value, he sold everything he owned and bought the precious pearl.

He didn’t hesitate to pay full price. He sacrificed all for its possession.

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 
 When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it” Matthew 13:45-46.
We quickly think, “This is a Bible story.” The merchant must be people searching for God. Jesus is the Pearl of great worth.
And when we, merchants searching for God find Jesus, the most worthy pearl, we give God our heart to receive His amazing grace. We lay down our lives to follow Him.
But wait.
The picture can be drawn completely different. In a time of crisis, when searching grows deeper, there’s discovery of an entirely new picture to this parable.
What if Jesus is the merchant looking for fine pearls?
We don’t feel fine.
An irritated grain of sand in an oyster is the beginning of the making of a pearl.
The oyster surrounds the irritant with a covering. Over a process of time the crystalline covering hardens and creates a pearl.
Jesus is the merchant. He searches to and fro.
When He finds us seeking Him with an open heart,  He reveals Himself.
We awaken to His sacrifice.
He gave up His life.
In our pain and suffering, we become fully aware,
He suffered for us.
Broken, hurting people irritated by grains of sand, sin, and pain, receive a covering of His grace. Jesus re-creates us into a pearl.
Jesus makes beauty from irritants and sins. He covers us in His righteousness, as we search for Him.
 “. . . to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair”
Isaiah 61:2,3.
Viewed as a pearl of great price, yes, of course, our Jesus.
But Jesus’ view of us, precious and covered in His love and delight,
His covering brings, beauty out of pain, peace and rest.

Crushed grapes to wine is as brokenness to joy

When Jesus sat on a hill and spoke to the multitudes of people, He spoke words contrary to man’s natural inclination,

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” Matthew 5:3.

Another translation  puts it this way, “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.” (The Message).

In ancient Bible times, crushed grapes produced wine. There is much argument about this topic, levels of fermentation, etc. but today, I seek to focus on the Bible’s symbolism of wine for joy.

A large scale mural has been painted by Aniekan Udofia in Ivy City, Washington D.C. *

When we’re crushed, (when we face the pressing trials of each day), do we produce wine? or whine?

“He who believes in Me,” Jesus said, “out of his heart will flow rivers of living water” John 7:38.

Being tried and crushed through the everyday pressures, how do we produce wine? Out of our hearts is flowing . . .

rivers of living waters? Where’s the joy?

God tells us a story. John 2 explains,

On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there,  and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding.  When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”

 “Woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.”

 His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.

Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water;” so they filled them to the brim.

Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”

They did so,  and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew.

Then he called the bridegroom aside  and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

 What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

“Do whatever He tells you,” Mary said to the servants.

These are hard words. It’s hard work to fill six 20 to30 gallon jars with water.

As a branch surrendered to the Vine, (who is Jesus), I will discover the ability to produce fruit. Fruits of love are: joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.

John 15: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.  If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.  If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.  If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.  My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.  You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.

Are we abiding, surrendered to the Vine?
Then much fruit will come.

No Need to Worry. The Eye Reveals Why.

I don’t need to worry. Plain and simple. Why? 

A young college graduate on graduation day spoke to a crowd about the eye:

“I would like to say that now that we have our degree, we will not run into problems that we can’t handle, but truthfully no matter the type of degree, the number of years of experience, no matter the location, the support groups, the family, or the friendships, there will always come a time when we just don’t know the answer. It’s inevitable, so I want to encourage you with a little anatomy lesson:

Did you know that there are 47 different structures that make up the human eye that all have a unique function?

Did you know that there are 6 extra-ocular muscles, 4 cranial nerves, and 1.2 million nerve fibers in each optic nerve?

Did you know that when light waves touch my eye, without even thinking about it I blink to protect them from too much exposure? And when the amount of light changes, my pupillary -light response reacts without a thought so that only the right amount of light is let into my eye.

Did you know that there are four out of twelve cranial nerves that work specifically for the eye so that they can not only allow me to focus on a object and read it but also so that they can move in different directions.

There are 9 different structures that all play a specific role in receiving light messages before they even get to the brain! And it is not until those messages get to the occipital lobe of the brain that I can interpret what I am actually seeing.

The eyes receive millions of light waves and messages everyday, but my brain has a specific area that let’s only the important and significant messages through so that the brain doesn’t get over-stimulated.

And did you know that the God who told me to cast all my cares upon Him, and that He will never leave me nor forsake me, that I should be anxious for nothing, was the very One who designed this whole system and hundreds like it so that we can live and move and breathe every second.

And did you know that He didn’t have to lift a finger and didn’t sweat a drop to think of it, He just breathed on one man and He said that He knit us together and formed us in our mother’s womb before you were even a thought in her mind.

And now you tell me, what are you worried about? 

What will you be worried about when you come up to those hurdles that are bound to cross you path?

I want you to think of your eye and tell me, that your situation, your problem, your worry is TOO big for the GOD who created you and the world you live in to handle.” 

 ( Carolyn Rypkema at Lamplighting Ceremony at PBAU May 3,2012).

So today, I confess, I am much like a sheep that tends to forget these wonderful thoughts.

So, I take a moment, to think of my eye. What a marvelous creation of God.

My anxious heart is put to rest, and my thoughts are tested now to trust and let go.

Let go of worry, strife, pain, and fear and to think of my eye, and the Creator who knows all that I need. Oh, yes, He knows . . . much more than I.

 

 

What are we listening to? Fear? or God’s Voice? Let’s STOP and hear:

“Trust Me now.” I hear a still small voice speak. “Trust.” When the waves are huge, and blinded eyes can’t see.

“Trust Me.

Put on faith’s glasses, take off  fear’s clouded goggles, and . . .
B-R-E-A-T-H.

Don’t panic.

Remember, I walk on the turbulent seas.”

Don’t caress thoughts that are sharp and dark. Don’t linger in pits of past regrets—STOP.

Speak instead, faith thoughts.

Let—suffer, allow, the Holy Spirit to sing in your heart.

So I open the Hymn book at the Spirit’s prompt.  It opens, Doxology, page 1:

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

And I think right away,

“Oh God, how can You patiently watch my faith so quickly, fly away?

With an envelope from the mail. With a headache in the morning. With the world’s events spinning. Each and everyday, dear Lord, You watch my faith take flight. As if it’s always night, and never day.

Oh God,  . . .

lead me to P-R-A-I-S-E.”

So I turn in the hymnal to Page 2. If only I could always remember this hymn proves time and again to be a “faint heart’s” rescue.

Fanny Crosby, though blind, could see. Spiritually, her words help my weary heart sing:

All the way my Sav-ior leads me; What have I to ask be-side? Can I doubt His ten-der mer-cy. Who thro’ life has been my guide?

Heav’n-ly peace,

di-vin-est com-fort,

Here by faith in Him to dwell For I know what-e’er be-fall me,

Je-sus do-eth all things well;

All the way my Savior leads me;

Cheers each winding path I tread.

Gives me grace for every trial,

Feeds me with the living bread:

Tho’ my weary steps may falter, And my soul a thirst may be,

Gushing from the Rock before me, Lo! a spring of joy I see;

Thank you Fanny for your pen and song. My eyes are lifted from the earth to the Son.

All the way my Savior leads me; Oh, the fullness of His love! Perfect rest to me is promised In my Father’s house above . . .

Will you join me in entering God’s rest? Can we seek accountability to trust.
We can rise above earthly trials. Trusting that our Savior leads the way.

And while we wait, we praise our Savior. And He fills our hearts and minds with His peace.

Abiding Branches

There’s a struggle, a pull, to break away, to break off.

Abide? Remain. What are reasons? Why the effort?

Fruit.

Fruit is the reason we must abide. Fruitfulness is a reason to remain. Without abiding in the Vine, there will be no fruit. Nada, nothing. No love, no peace, no gentleness. No power for obedience.

God’s Word says,

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing . . . 

 John 15:5.

So, first we must surrender to the Vine, as a branch.

Easier said than done, for most of us. But fruit is a desire. How we want in our lives the fruit of the Spirit. “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.”

 

 

Oh, there are plenty of examples of faithlessness in the Bible. Not in God, ever, but in man, often.

I think of Jonah. A man of God. A prophet. A book of the Bible is all about him. But there is no covering. This man is written up exactly as he was.

God gave him a job. Jonah ran the other way.

But God loved him and sent a big storm. Yes. And a bit of a drowning. And a whale for a lifeguard, that later spit him up on dry ground.

Hey, this could look, from certain perspectives, (lacking faith and God’s point of view,)  as if God messed up somehow.

But read the book of Jonah with open ears and heart, and discover the beauty of trial. It kills pride and spits us up on a solid ground of humbleness.

So, “What does all this have to do with fruit?”

Well, Jonah was broken after the steamy, hot trial of being trapped in the belly of a whale. And it brought a complete surrender. Jonah was now ready to let God lead his steps.

He willingly put off his pride, due to great brokenness, and put on a garment of humbleness.

Perhaps we can say, Jonah was now ready to “abide.”

He hears our thoughts, He receives us to Himself, even though He knows full well, we are full of faithlessness.  He grafts us into the Vine which is Christ. And instructs us gently to keep close focus on Him, not enlarging the wisdom of man above His ways.

Like insects clinging to the leaf to sap strength, we must “put off” those things that invoke fear and lack of hope:

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.  For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God, Colossians 3:1-3.

“But everyone else s doing it,” we might think at times. But we are called to abide:

” . . . now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.  Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices,” Colossians 3:8,9.

Only in abiding do we have power to put off all of these.

To abide is not to do as we “naturally” want.

Fruit. Fruit is the desire.

“Self-control, please.”

Second, to focus on the Vine increases  faith with hope for tomorrow and contentment for today that the Living waters of life and peace might flow through our veins:

 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.  You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.  Remain in me, as I also remain in you, John 15:2-4.

Through the Word we are cleansed. Through God’s Word we are branches trained up:

Having, “put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator,” Colossians 3:10.

Yes, the third ingredient to successful abiding that fruit might be ours, is “renewal” of the mind, day in, day out. Taking our own inventory first and not worrying about everybody else. (Perhaps, this proves to be the biggest test!)

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will,” Romans 12:1,2.

And to help us keep our focus on things we have power to change:

 Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 

 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function,  so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others, Romans 12:3-5.

Fourth, is the encouragement of community together. To hold each other up. To be watered with the Word. To hope together, to never give up. To look at the good and grow in God’s love:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things, Philippians 4:8.

God is faithful. God is Steadfast. God is merciful. God is Shelter for us. We praise Him who is perfect in all that He is, and ask Him to give us sufficient grace to face the trials we feel.

So, fifth, and finally we who abide can have power to clothe ourselves, as it flows from inside:

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity, Romans 12:12,13,14.

Fruit on the branch that abides in the Vine waves with the move of the Spirit, each new day that it yields:

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 

 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts, Col.3:15.

A song of praise to remind us to continue and remain. Love and thankfulness are continually ours in His presence:

 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him, Colossians3: 16-17.

Let us abide in the Lord and bear fruit in this day. With the Lord’s Spirit flowing through our veins!

 

 

 

 

 

President Abraham Lincoln’s Words to America, 1863

Do we remember words of Abraham Lincoln in 1863? Perhaps, they need to be heard again today.

“We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of heaven. We have been preserved, these many years, in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth and power, as no other nation has ever grown.

But we have forgotten God.

We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own.

Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us!

It behooves us, then to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our national sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness.”

April 30, 1863, President Abraham Lincoln’s Proclamation for a National Day of Fasting, Humiliation and Prayer.

America. God whispers His warning. Are we willing to listen today? 2018? How can we respond to old words brought to light? Over 150 years ago. Today America, “Be still and know . . .”

God.

Sometimes a poem expresses best.

God speaks every day.  America, please listen with open ears and willing heart. Stop striving. Believe again, and pray.

 

America, America

Where is your heart and mind?

Have you truly turned your back to Me?

Are you lead by greed and pride?

“O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!” (1)

America, America

What do you prove today?

People divided. Hatred, fights, and lies?

America, a nation falls this way.

 

I, the King of heaven can see.

On the throne of glory, I reign.

Whether or not a man believes,

I, Almighty God, forever unchanging, remain.

 

America, America,

Of My grace, undeserved favor you sing.

But mercy and grace aren’t found in you.

Stop now. America, and heed My warning.

 

“Repent, for My Kingdom is at hand.”

John proclaimed in Bible years,

America, wake up! His message is for you!

Put off pride and indignation, and put on reverential fear.

 

America, America

Repent, Remember, Return to My Word.

With contrite spirit and broken heart,

“Be still and know, I am the Lord.” (2)

 

Isaiah 40:15,

No, for all the nations of the world are but a drop in the bucket. They are nothing more than dust on the scales. He picks up the whole earth as though it were a grain of sand. NLT

 

One heart at a time. Let us turn our faces to God. Let us ask God for His mercy and forgiveness. Perhaps again, we will acknowledge Him, and obey Him in all we do and give Him glory, praise, and honor as He graciously sees us through., “And crown Thy good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea.”

“In Jesus name,” (and who joins me in saying,) “Amen.”

 

 

(1) America the Beautiful, Katherine Lee Bates

(2) Psalm 46:10

Pictures credited to The Rebirth of America. The Arthur S. Demoss Foundation

 

 

 

How to talk about God in flower seeds

In helping parents and friends talk about God to children as they walk along the way, today we take a Zinnia seed and explore the wonders of God. Let’s talk to the kids and bring God in ordinary things:

Do you see the seeds on the dirt in the picture?

These are Zinnia seeds. In that one flower there are more than 100 seeds. That means 100 Zinnia plants.

But, not until those seeds are put in the soil to grow. Otherwise, they will simple sit, alone.

Do you see the little baby Zinnia’s in the next picture?

Yes, they’re young and growing. All because someone, (well, in this case, it was me), took a shovel and softened the soil and took out the rocks, and then planted the seed. And then, buried it in dirt.

The seed was buried. Then the seed basically died.

Well, you see, the seed loses itself as a seed. It allows itself to become something entirely different. A living sprout.

Yes, after being watered, it starts to grow.

Life bursts forth with water, and sun, from the soil and the seed where it all began.

What a promise in each seed. A possibility of  a hundred plants from only 1 flower!

That’s what the word “glorious” means. Well, maybe not, but at least to me.

This is actually a picture of the Gospel. The Good News of God.

Yes, God speaks to us everyday through everyday things. He is the Creator of all the natural beauty around.  I suppose He’s waiting to see who’s looking for His messages from His many glorious wonders that occur throughout each day.

Well, back to the seed that died in the ground. There’s a verse in the Bible about all this in John 12:24, NLT, Jesus  speaks to those who have listening ears:

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels, a plentiful harvest of new lives.

How is the gospel message hid in this seed? Well, It died. It gave up it’s own identity.

Jesus was God, in heaven from the beginning. God sent His Son, as the Christmas baby, with angels announcing to shepherds to be the Savior of the world.

He came that He might die.

Yes, on the cross. Have you heard the story? He died on the cross. His blood was shed for forgiveness of our sin.

But He rose from the dead! Much like this sprout that came from the seed that was buried.

Yes, Jesus rose again. This is call the resurrection. And for those who believe, He forgives and makes new everything that was old. I know it’s hard to believe, but look at the seed.

There’s a whole new look, and a whole new life, and then with time and water and sun, there’s fruit in the end. This is God’s love and life all shown through nature.

Yes, and when we believe in Him, He makes us new. God’s Word expresses this truth in 2 Corinthians 5:17,

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

Daily, we need to die to our own stubborn way, and instead of putting ourselves first, we need to seek God, and obey His way. for example, when a guardian asks, “Can you clean up your space.”

Do we whine, and moan and put it off for a time? Or do we simply obey? And, cheerfully?

God is watching. He knows everything!

Hey, the seed picture should help move us to action. The seed died to itself, in a way, that a plant could grow. But more than that, there’s a reward in it for us.

Can you see in the picture, the reward of putting God first and doing things His way?

Yes, fruit. Well, in this case a flower. Beautiful and bright.

Have you prayed to God, receiving Jesus, and His promise of new life? Pray today with no delay, ask Him in your life. He uses a simple seed of faith, and creates beauty and life.

And maybe, you have the Lord, but need to be planted anew. Pray to God. He hears. He waits for us to talk with Him.
“Dear Lord, help us this day make the choice to put You first.

To give You some time, and forget about ourselves.

I bow my head and ask, “Will You forgive me Lord? For the times I’ve been stubborn and not cared about what’s right.

Help me to “die” to my own selfishness, and sometimes, meanness too, and lead me to care and desire about what You say.

Thank You that You gave up Your life that I might have mine. That You, Jesus, went to the cross for my wrongs. That You were willing to pay for my debt of sin. You loved me . . . then.

And You love me now.

Thanks for speaking in a simple seed that was buried in the ground, but didn’t remain like that. No, it changed and grew to something beautiful in time.

Thank You God.

Help me choose You, today. That I might have a flower’s joy.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Proverbs 4:8,9, (about gaining wisdom when we hear God’s Word),

Cherish her, (wisdom), and she will exalt you;
    embrace her, and she will honor you.
She will give you a garland to grace your head
    and present you with a glorious crown.”

Aren’t the “heads” of these flowers arrayed with glorious crowns?”

Amen, and when we obey God and seek to obey, we will have His light shining from us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Ninety and Nine, a hymn for today

Writing the words of an old hymn so we might speak aloud, or if desired, to sing. But there is so much comfort in reading words from over a hundred years back, and feeling as if they were penned today. Oh, how they shed new light on familiar themes:

There were nine-ty and nine that safe-ly lay In the shelter of the fold, But one was out on the hills a-way, Far off from the gates of gold,

A-way on the mountains wild and bare, A-way from the tender Shepherd’s care,
A-way from the tender Shepherd’s care.

Lord, Thou hast here Thy nine-ty and nine; Are they not enough for Thee? But the Shepherd made an-swer:

“This of mine has wan-dered a-way from Me, And al-though the road be rough and steep, I go to  the des-ert to find My sheep,

I go to the des-ert to find My sheep.”

But none of the ran-somed ev-er knew How deep were the wa-ters crossed; Nor how dark was the night That the Lord passed thro’

Ere He found His sheep that was lost. Out in the des-ert he heard its cry Sick and help-less, and read-y to die, 

Sick and help-less, and read-y to die.

Lord, whence are those blood drops all the way,

That mark out the moun-tain’s track?

They were shed for one who had gone a-stray Ere the Shep-herd could bring Him back. Lord whence are Thy hands so rent and torn? They’re pierced to-night by many a thorn, 

They’re pierced to-night by man-y a thorn.

But all thro’ the mount-tains, thun-der riv’n, And up from the rock-y steep, There a-rose a glad cry to the gate of heav”n;

“Rejoice! I have found my sheep!”

And the an-gels echoed a-round the throne, Rejoice for the Lord brings back His own, 

Rejoice for the Lord brings back His own.

Elizabeth C. Clephane had written a poem that found it’s way in 1874 in a penny newspaper of those days. Ira D. Sankey, a song leader for Evangelist D.L. Moody, cut it out and put it in his music notebook.

At a meeting in which Moody gave a sermon on the Good Shepherd,  he asked Sankey, “Do you have an appropriate solo in which to close?”

It is told that Ira Sankey prayed a quick prayer and turned to the poem in his notebook, and, on-the-spot, wrote its melody!

Today, so many years later, melody known or not, the words comfort, touch, and move us to hope deeper and believe greater in our dear Good Shepherd’s love. We must read it aloud and rejoice in our hearts that our Good Shepherd never tires to seek and to save the lost.

The old hymns, they remind us that He loves most. 

And His good Word reminds us that His love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13).

God’s love is deep and wide. Human-kind can’t comprehend God. Perhaps we spend our lifetimes understanding His amazing grace. And then,

one day, we shall see Him, face to face.

A Letter to my High School Graduate

A letter to you, our High School Graduate:

I am so thankful and proud that you chose to take your high school years seriously. I’m also very thankful for the great and wonderful teachers and mentors you’ve worked with along the way.

As words from the Book of Proverbs proclaims: “let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance . . .” (Proverbs 1:5).

And Proverbs 12:1 makes a contrast: “Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge; but he that hates reproof is brutish.”

But son, I want to remind you what God’s Word says, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7.

You see, words and voices are at your finger-tips. Opinions, facts, judgements, complaints, entertainment, and hate-speeches, but son, what comes in is very important.

We hear the word “Change” like a charge. Change is good. But I plead with you, Please make that “change” be to seek the Lord, more each day.

Each day, be “careful—full of care,” to read His Word and grow in who He is and what He has to say.

God knows what we need. He instructs. He is protects. He speaks:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23 warns us. Put a guard around your heart.

Make a distinct decision to be apart for God.

Be sold-out for Jesus. If He would feel uncomfortable standing around the words of thought and conduct, then so should you.

How do we gain and increase in wisdom? God doesn’t leave His children in the dark:

The Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

He holds success in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. Proverbs 2:6-8.

It is always right to trust God. He is able.

You’ve grown up in a house where there is nothing we can stand on except God to get us through. He has given exceptional gifts in each one of us and He is available to lavishly pour out His Spirit.

Keep the rivers flowing.

 “Seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near:

 Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.” Isaiah 55:6-7.

Turn daily to seek the Lord’s face. And you will continually be able to have within you this glorious prize,

“I have more insight than all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes.” Psalm 119:99.

This world is conditional. On condition of this, you can do that. On condition of that, you can have this.

Well, Jesus is love, unconditional. Today, tomorrow, never changing. He will not turn His back. I pray that each and every day, His face is what you seek.

“The Lord bless you
    and keep you;
 the Lord make his face shine on you
    and be gracious to you;
 the Lord turn his face toward you
    and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26.

Ephesians 2:13, “But now in Christ Jesus you who were once  far off have been made near by the blood of Christ.”

Picture by Jonathan Rypkema. God’s Hand.

Prayer and Encouragement: Be Still My Soul

“Be Still my soul  . . .” The  old hymn reminds. 

How do I “be still?”

This is the question as the clock continues to move time.

Fears flood in an instant.

Stresses press on our back.

Pain wears down the weary body. There are tears on the inside, like rain no one can see.

We’re in this marathon race. It’s not how we start, it’s how we finish.

We must finish. We must finish well. But “How?”

With unity. Not isolated and alone. That spells defeat and loneliness.

Reminding each other to remind ourselves:

Be Still my Soul. The Lord is on thy side . . .
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.”

We must remember God is King over everything.

“Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 
not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:22-25.

Our prayer to Jesus: “There is so much change. But You, O LORD remain.

We draw near to You, and You draw near when we do.

O God, help us, today in such darkness, take hold of Your light and believe and rest . . .
in Your faithfulness.

“Be still, my soul: Our God doth undertake
To guide the future, as You have the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

We pray in a hymn, dear Lord.

Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
Your voice Who ruled them while You dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart, And all is darkened in the vale of tears, 
Then shalt we  better know Your love, Your heart,
Who comes to soothe our sorrow and our fears.

Dear Lord, comfort the downcast with Your Spirit, we draw near.

“Be still, my soul: the hour is hast’ning on
When we shall be forever with You Lord.
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.”

Dear Father in heaven, we bow our heads together. The most important change that needs be, is inside of me—Increase my faith, that I might stand, and follow You, as You take hold of my hand.

“Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing,  You, O Lord on high; to
Acknowledge You in all our words and ways,
So shall You  view us with a well-pleased eye.

Be still, my soul: the Son of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.”

We bow our heads, we pray to You. We end our words  and whole heartedly say:  “Our soul is still, as we set our minds on the hill, where You laid down Your life, as a perfect sacrifice, forgiving my failures, Dear Lord Jesus, Thank You.“
(1) “Be Still My Soul” by Katherine von Schlegel. 

I want a garden of flowers, but the soil of my heart, needs work.

Soil, hard with clay and stone. A barren landscape. Plain. Forlorn. Similar to my heart, quite honestly, at times. Nothing will grow in this, except the weeds of discontent and misery.

But a shovel, some good soil and earth, a bit of sweat and great effort. And seeds of Truth and God’s Holy Word, can be received in the dirt to bring about hope.

The seeds are a promise. There’s now hope of refreshing fruit.

God speaks to His people so they understand difficult things:
“. . . unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed.

But if it dies, it produces many seeds,” John 12:24, NIV.

“If it dies, it produces,” produces and multiplies. Life and fruit overcome barrenness.  And life overcomes death, all because a seed fell to the ground and dies.

What can this mean for you and me? Is the soil of my heart open to hear? Or do I carry on without a care?

The mystery is clarified. God’s Word simplifies:

 In the past you were dead because you sinned and fought against God. 

You followed the ways of this world and obeyed the devil. He rules the world, and his spirit has power over everyone who doesn’t obey God.

 Once we were also ruled by the selfish desires of our bodies and minds. We had made God angry, and we were going to be punished like everyone else.

 But God was merciful!

We were dead because of our sins, but God loved us so much that he made us alive with Christ, and God’s wonderful kindness is what saves you.

Openness to the Word softens the heart. Receiving the seed, is death on our part. But God then can work miraculously and bring life out of death. Only God brings life.

God raised us from death to life with Christ Jesus, and he has given us a place beside Christ in heaven. 

 God did this so that in the future world he could show how truly good and kind he is to us because of what Christ Jesus has done. 

You were saved by faith in God, who treats us much better than we deserve. 

This is God’s gift to you, and not anything you have done on your own.

God gives the gift. We simply receive. If our hearts are soft like good soil, and simply Believe.

  It isn’t something you have earned, so there is nothing you can brag about.

 God planned for us to do good things and to live as he has always wanted us to live.

That’s why he sent Christ to make us what we are. Ephesians 2 Contemporary English Version. 

An old hymn comes to mind:

On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
  The emblem of suff’ring and shame,
And I love that old cross where the Dearest and Best
  For a world of lost sinners was slain.(1)

Soil worked, seed in the ground, sun and water required, seed then dies, but by miracle it seems, a sprout appears. Hope for fruit right before our eyes.

Promise of a flower, a tomato, or pear. And for me and you, the fruit of the Spirit, more love, more patience, and self-control and gentleness. The ability for faithfulness and joy. Do we desire kindness and peace? Do we have the ability to do good

“. . . unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, . . .” 

it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, . . .”

the fruit of love is spread all over.

On the old rugged Cross, stain’d with blood so divine
A wondrous beauty I see
For the dear Lamb of God, left his Glory above
To pardon and sanctify me
So I’ll cherish the old rugged Cross
Till my trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged Cross
And exchange it some day for a crown
Like a beautiful garden, is that what we desire to be? Soft hearts, bearing fruit?
Seeking God to help keep out the weeds, until the time He calls us home:
To the old rugged Cross, I will ever be true
Its shame and reproach gladly bear
Then He’ll call me some day to my home far away
Where his glory forever I’ll share

The Old Rugged Cross, George Bennard, 1912

 

Long and overdue, Honor for you, Mom

Mom, this is a letter of honor for you. Yes, long overdue. Oh, there were small moments of honor, but over-all, as a child and even as a young woman, I struggled to be honoring.

If I could have spent more time thinking on the good things and good reports. But my brain was prone to think on the lack, the imperfections, the cracks and nicks. Why did it take me so many years to understand that all this is part of my battle with sin.

I suppose the most relieving part, is, this is everyone’s battle, day in and day out. There is no escaping it, in our own strength. There’s only so far you can go with “the power of positive thinking.”

If I could have actually put in practice, “Do to mother, what you would have her do to you.” I might have, in the process, learned a thing or two about honoring you.

I was not your easy, compliant child. No, I was hard-headed, stubborn, temperamental, and angry. So much so, that being my last name was Born, you would often joke that my middle name was Stub. Toni Stub-Born.

Did I ever say “I’m sorry,” for all my Stub-Born-ness?  Well, “I’m sorry mom.”
I have a few “snapshot” memories. I was six or so, and I needed my tonsils out.

I remember crying and carrying on with loud cries and tears because I DID NOT want to go in some room that seemed to be a community room with lots of kids and parents. No!

I remember being put in a private-type room. And then after surgery, I was surrounded by stuffed animals, a new tooth brush, and tons of attention. Did I think I was a princess?

Yes, I believed I was a princess.

Another snapshot memory is the huge scene I made about “hating” my brand-new, (very fine, I might add), genuine leather sandals you bought for me and presented to me the day and moments before leaving for the Barnum and Bailey Circus, the Greatest Show on Earth.

I made a scene, almost to the point of missing the circus. But I wore the shoes, somehow, (I’m sure with great aggravation and struggle on your part), and forgot all about them after being struck with awe and wonder of the Three Rings, the lights and sparkle, the stilts, the elephants, the horses.

Did I realize that not every child had the opportunity to see the Barnum and Bailey Circus? Did I ever say I’m sorry for carrying on?

I’m sorry mom. And, thanks for taking me to the circus. I still remember it today, along with the leather sandals. I remember really liking them as time went on.

I didn’t have a thankful heart. I didn’t naturally think on the good and wonderful things you did for me. Instead, I was critical and had blaming thoughts.

Mom, I’m truly sorry for all this. Why’d it take 57 years for me to say this? You spent time with me to teach me to sew. And you were the one to introduce me to Calligraphy pens. You spent time with me giving me instruction in how to use them well.

To think Mom, it was you who put the seed in me for Calligraphy. I included a handful of the beautiful script that continually flows from my kids.

Thank you.

What about the music lessons? The painful moments listening to me sing. Then the huge investment in voice lessons. All for me. Mom, thank you for investing in me. Singing, playing instruments, teaching others the joy of playing. This is so much of my life today. All because you and dad invested in me.

Thank you. Thank you.

And the dance lessons at the Glenda Falk Studio. It was like a second home. You and dad flipped the bill. Endless hours dancing giving me the heart to dream for a future of musical comedy.

Thank you Mom.

And remember, after your rare trip to NYC, when you brought home the album for “A Chorus Line.” Forget about it, I had a dream to go to NYC and audition for that show. And I did!

I wasn’t cast, but it’s crazy to actually think of all that now.

You were an example of taking healthy herbs and living in moderation. But there was not a moderate bone in my body. I was a powerhouse of energy and  hard-headedness, smart, opinionated, and, . . . how you must have cringed at all my hidden insecurities.

I will write now, something I’ve never spoken aloud, but I remember at age 6 or 7, when I drank from my first Coke-a-cola, in the small glass bottle. Like a magnet, the sugar had a grip on me.

What’s all that about? It was an impulsive-compulsiveness growing inside of me, (probably from the day I was born, only to learn later, we’re all born with a bent to sin). Well, you watched it. The craziness of an eating disorder throughout my high school years, and sad to say, it wasn’t until I was 20  before I could finally admit I had a serious problem.

I didn’t know how to eat. I would eat anything and think, “I ate too much,” only to then binge and eat the entire box! Or, I would look in the mirror and think, “I’m so fat.” An insanity was growing inside my mind.
But underneath all that eating and binging, exercising and dance class madness, were huge insecurities, negative thoughts, and an internal angry mess.

I was searching spiritually in High-School, and God was watching me.

I remember looking into the huge, vast, Arizona sky, (because there weren’t huge trees to block the view, just a Saguaro Cactus or so), and “talking to God.”

He heard me.

He sent my dance teacher, my Key Club friends, kids from cheer and FCA to be a witness to me. I made some efforts of change trying to get religion. Doing this thing and that, but it was all effort without . . .

. . . my whole heart. I didn’t have a relationship with Jesus, I was inwardly a mess, still the pilot of my ship.

But no-one could tell, it was all hidden inside.

I auditioned for the American Academy Arts. I got accepted and off I went to the big CA! I did fine for a few years, setting goals and moving forward. Musicals, Summer Stock, in my own energy and strength, and outward courage, after my Exam Plays at the California school, I asked to transfer, if accepted to the  American Academy of Dramatic Arts, NY School.

I was able to say, “American Academy of Dramatic Arts NYC, Here I come.”

An Arizona girl in the big NYC. The dream to dance and study voice and act- Yes, I was living a dream!

But mom, as time went on,I couldn’t overcome my eating disorder. It got so much worse.

No one could really tell from the outside. This was a hidden struggle.

 

The insecurities mounted. The anger. The fear. I couldn’t fly home. I had to get it right, right there.

I was reading “Out on a Limb,” by Shirley MacClaine. I sought New Age wisdom, only to be left short of any victory to overcome my compulsive, self-destructive behavior.

My life had become unmanageable.

I needed a Savior. And God found me and He rescued me, in the big NYC. You see, an alcoholic can do a twelve step program and stop drinking, but with eating disorders, you’ve got to learn to eat.

God helped me, to literally, eat. First, through 12 steps, and then continually to learn Who it was that I “made the decision to turn my will and my life over to His care.”

The Bible became my main read!

I was His girl, and He was always with me. He helped me conquer and heal completely my angers, day by day, and my insecurities. I often would think, because this was in that era, of Karen Carpenter, who didn’t get the help in time. That reminded me, this is important.

I gave my life to Jesus, He helped me to finally stand on my own two feet.
Anger was my real issue, and moment by moment, with my mind in His word, my heart seeking His way, and the Spirit leading, He helped me overcome addiction.

He’s still helping me.

So, Mom, I suppose in honoring you today, I write what seems to be a book. A thousand words, plus, but it’s time mom.

And I wanted you to know all this.

And you know, this NYC girl was never going to get married or have kids, (before this change and new relationship with the Lord and allowing Him to pilot my ship).

God had plans unlike mine. He had me meet Mike, and showed me, “This is the one.”

We married and  had a few children, . . . or eleven.

I know, you thought your girl had lost her mind. Yes, quite frankly. But they’re all your grand-kids!

As a mom, I try to do my best, and mom, you did your best too. So I want to say today, I’m sorry for all the grief I caused your heart. And thank you, from the bottom of my heart for your love and your endless support.

I could write so much more, but bottom line, it’s long over-due, mom. “Thank you.”

I hope you are blessed as you watch our kids grow. And I hope your heart swells a bit  knowing you started the Calligraphy trend, many years ago, when you took the time to teach me how to use a Calligraphy pen.

I’m thankful, that even though I moved away from AZ at 18, social media helps us share pictures and moments, and we don’t have to feel so far away.

I love you mom. I honor you, hopefully better everyday.

Your far-away, and (thankfully) a bit less hard-headed and stubborn girl,

Toni

 

 

For ‘Now and Again, Letter #3, She was running

Dear Girls,

This is letter #3 about your mom. I’m sure your heart breaks in many ways at times when you think of her.

The huge disabilities. With absolutely no ability to serve her girls cake on your birthdays. Unable to pick up a pencil to show you how to do the math problem. Or clap when you swam your best in the pool.

The tears that must have flowed from her eyes when she badly wanted to give you hugs.

But, I want your thoughts to be wonderful of your mom, not filled will sadness. So, I share this letter with you.

You may wonder, “How  did it come about that Ms. Toni would come once in a while and bring songs to your house.”

Your mom welcomed the songs and the music. They were a joy to her heart.

Her respirator alarm would go off while she was singing, but she sang anyway with all her breath.

And with the respirator, it was limited.But she sang with all her heart. God has a promise about that:

You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.”Jer. 29:13.

God knew we needed each other, at this time of our lives. How I loved your mom.

I think of her often, her attitude, her faith.

The elders from the church came to anoint her with oil and pray the prayer of healing over her in the name of Jesus. That’s what we were all waiting for.

We all know the stories. We’ve heard them, they were taught to us, when Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!”(Acts 3:6). And we know that he took the man by the right hand and helped him up and the man’s feet and ankles became strong.

Your mom had faith to believe she would walk again, day in and day out.

We picture all this in our minds, that “He jumped to his feet and began to walk.”(Acts. 3:8).  And we can see them as well, “walking and leaping and praising God” (Acts. 3:8), into the temple.

Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God,” (Rom. 10:17).

Your mom had believing faith.

She told me, when forced to go to the hospital because the Home Heath Care had expired,  “I’m going to walk out of this hospital.”

Tears did flow from her eyes. I know. I had to wipe those precious tears and cry with her a time or two.

Incredibly, with her very next breath, she would say in that sweet, whispery voice, “God is working. He’s going to do something amazing real soon!”

Well, guess what? God did answer that prayer the elders prayed. Your mom was healed of everything. Everything spiritually and emotionally.

So let me tell you the story, so you can read it now and again, the day your mama was running.

Well, since God had set it all up, that your mom and I would meet two times a week while she lay motionless on a bed for weeks.

We were living the Word. It was really precious: Yep, we would Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him; and talk of all His wondrous works, Psalm 105:2, and we would Seek the LORD and His strength; and Seek His face evermore.”,Ps. 105:4.

And we read the Song of Solomon together. So, going on a journey of the Song of all songs we began. Let me tell you, God was working, and He was doing something amazing everyday.
So, you see, I brought to the hospital along with my ‘Baby guitar’ my Jon Courson’s Application Commentary, Old Testament, Volume 2.

We discovered the King’s love for His maiden, (or Jesus’ love for you and me and for all the “whosoevers spoken of in John 3:16), and we felt like two schoolgirls together with giant ‘crushes’ on…Jesus.

Your mom and I were so enraptured like never before by the Love of our Bridegroom Jesus, how even though we were messed up and ‘dark’ with sin, (Song of Solomon 1:6), and we felt He shouldn’t look at us, the King said,
“I have compared you, O my love, to a company of horses in Pharaoh’s chariots.” Song of Sol. 1:9.

Our King, our Love compares us to  His prize possessions, (not a mule or donkey), and He says,
“Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, Your neck with chains of gold. We will make you ornaments, [braids] of gold…”(Song of Sol. 1:9-11).

The commentary told us that the King’s maidens wore headdresses with jewels and the “We will make you ornaments . . .” reminds us of the Trinity, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Jon Courson then explained this verse, “We will make you ornaments, or braids of gold “, like this: “When we wonder what the Lord is doing during times of trial  and testing, He is braiding us – His gold- through hard times of pounding and beating and shaping.” “What right does He have to pound on me and to beautify me in that way?” you ask.””

He said, “Read on.” So, read on we did. The song: “We will make you ornaments [braids] of gold with studs of silver.”(Song. of Sol. 1:9). Silver means redemption.  Then the song continues, “While the king is at his table, my spikenard sends forth its fragrance. A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me, That lies all night between my breasts. . .

And we remember,’myrrh’. It was the spice that was brought to Jesus when He was a baby. It’s a burial spice. And we know the Table, the Table of communion that reminds us of His love that was poured out. Jesus died.

“A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me,” the song goes. Yes, we hold our Jesus close to our hearts. He loves us ultimately.

Your mama and I experienced a bit of heaven on that morning together. So much love was poured out in our hearts that morning. Your mom couldn’t hold anything in her arms, but we both held Jesus.

Let Him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!

Jon Courson did a great job reminding us that “you cannot kiss two people on the lips at one time.”And we thought, “Hmmm, very true.”

 “Let Him kiss me with the kisses of His mouth for Your love is better than wine.”  And your mom and I learned that the word ‘wine’ in the Bible speaks of joy. So here in just the first two verses in the song this maiden is saying, “Lord, I am completely, absolutely, 100% Yours, and Your love is more to me than anything this world has to offer.”

I bet you are asking yourself, “Didn’t she mention ‘running’ in this letter? I am not seeing any ‘running!” You are right, but I had to get you ready for it.

Song of Solomon 1:4, “Draw me, and we will run after thee…”

Listen girls, spiritually and emotionally, on that day, together, I believe the Lord healed both of us emotionally.

Emotionally, Your mom wasn’t just walking and leaping, she was running.” We were both running after Jesus together.

God had drawn us both and we were running after Him. But I have to say, your mom was “smoking me” in that run to her Prince of Peace.

I know this is long, but you’ve got this for ‘now and again’ when you need to read about your amazing mom and what the Lord did for her mad me.

I write for you girls with great amounts of love. I pray that you may you be blessed, for now and again with these reminders.

Love,
Toni Rypkema

For Now and Again #2 Letters for Jenny’s girls…

Introduction: These letters are for Jenny’s girls. Who’s Jenny. (Read Remembering Jenny Pt.1.

Jenny was a swim mom who faced the crisis of becoming paralyzed, unable to move her arms, her legs, to breathe on her own. The first year was of facing the crisis, and all that entails for a family of 5,  learning to live in her new condition, remodeling the home, purchasing a wheel-chair accessible vehicle, and coming home to 24/7 home health care.

Growing in faith, in hope and love as she faced day in and day out for almost 6  years in this condition.

 

 

Dear girls, I share this letter with you, about a hero of mine, yes, happens to  your mom.

When I have a hard day and I feel the impulse to quit or be depressed, I think of your mom. Each morning she chose willingly. Presenting her body as a living sacrifice to God, (Romans 12:1). 

Unable to move a muscle, yet totally willing and trusting in God’s healing hand, over a very long period of time. We’re not talking weeks, or long months, we’re talking years.

You see, what made your mom so special was how she was thinking.

She must have wrestled with God, (ironic, someone who couldn’t move a muscle, but was all “life” in mind and heart).

Wrestling with God, she appeared to be one who prayed as Jacob: “I won’t let go until You bless me,”(Gen. 32:24).

Your mom told me the first time I came to the house to visit, after 5 years of being paralyzed: “I consider it a privilege that God would choose me to go through this, and put me in this chair.” (She had one special wheelchair.)

I almost think I should write the word Selah, meaning pause and think about this after this statement.  She used the word privilege when talking about being paralyzed from the neck down.  Needing assistance of a respirator to breathe. Privilege that she was chosen to suffer so much loss.

I am so sorry for all the loss you girls have had to experience as well. The hugs you will receive in heaven. They will never end.

Your mom also told me, “I always loved God, even from a young age, but since I’ve been ‘in the chair’  God is so close to me. The closeness is indescribable.” And there is huge evidence of this.

I would not be writing word after word if this were not so.

I truly believe that when I hear encouragement to have an intimate relationship with Jesus, I think of your mom and her relationship with Him.

The Bible tells us that He will keep you in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him (Is. 26:3).

Your mom’s mind was on god and His will and ways. She had a deep peace that passed all understanding, (Phil4).

These choices are noteworthy.

And when talking about the struggles in her marriage, (as, every married person has struggles in marriage), she never complained one bit.

Not one ounce, nada, nothing.

She simply asked me, “Have you ever read the book called  The Power of a Praying Wife?  Your mom was not able to run fast in body, but she quick to run to God in prayer.

And we had many opportunities to pray those wonderful prayers right from that book, because of your mom’s great disability, it seemed as if your mom had these prayers memorized. 

God was using your mom to help me in so many ways.

And when things weren’t really going her way, while waiting in a hospital bed for week upon week, unable to find health care to get back home,

“Can we pray that when Joe comes, that he will see that I am concerned about him and all that is going on in his life with the girls?” 

Now girls, I am sure that you’ve heard, that when mamas not happy, ain’t nobody’s happy. Not with your mama, instead of being absorbed in her own grief of seeming unanswered prayer, she prayed that she would be focused and concerned with your dad and you.

Girls, this is what a most beautiful woman looks like.

God had done a work in her. I think that is where the word glorious fits in.

The Bible does tell us that “We are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” (Eph. 2:10).

Your mom couldn’t walk, but follow Jesus, she did.

And in that hospital room, Rm. 609, in which she found herself for weeks on end, she asked me if I would call the elders from her church to come to anoint her with oil and pray the prayer of healing over her. She continually said, “God told me that I was going to walk again.” 

The elders of the church did come. They prayed, and still, your mom, silently hoped and waited. She was an example of acceptance with joy. That’s why I write these letters, “for now and again.”

Your mom hoped in God, she believed what He said. Period.

She waited, with tears that she couldn’t wipe from her own face, she believed:

 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”Jer. 29:11-13.

S.H. Spurgeon wrote a little poem, and your mom’s story makes me think of it: “Put thou thy trust in God; In duty’s path go on; Fix on Himself thy steadfast eye, So shall thy work be done.”

“Though years on years roll on, His mercy shall endure; Though clouds and darkness hide His path, His promised grace is sure.”

On the very last visit I had with your mom, (which I had no idea it would be,) she told me, “Toni, I have some homework for you. I want you to learn a  song.” So I asked, “What song is that?” She answered, in that whisper voice she had, “It is well with my soul.”

“OK Jenny, I’ve got that one, for next time.”

I never got a chance to sing it with her, but at least now I know the song she left singing:

“When peace like a river, Attendeth my way, When sorrows, Like sea billows roll; whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, “It is well, It is well, with my soul.” It is well, with my soul, It is well, it is well, with my  soul.”

“My sin, O the bliss Of this glorious tho’t. My sin not in part But the whole Is nailed to the cross And I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, O my soul!” 

And, Lord, haste the day When my faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back like a scroll! The trumpet shall sound and the Lord shall descend, “Even so, it is well With my soul.  It is well, with my soul, it is well,

it is well with my soul.”

Girls, I hurt for you in that you miss your mom so much. I know these letters may bring tears, but I pray they fill your heart with love and comfort, For now and again.

With love,

Toni Rypkema

Remembering Jenny Part 1

Reasons
You will write the book, Jenny encouraged me.
I told Jenny  I wanted to write a devotional called God’s Hand. Sometimes I would read to her my WordPress posts. I would write what the Lord showed me that day in His word.

Anyway, I write now a series of articles about Jenny. God knew I needed a her friendship. I’m changed when I remember the time we had together. I believe everyone needs to meet Jenny. So I write.

Jenny became completely paralyzed, a tetraplegic, within only a 24 hour period, at 34 years of age. She lost the movement of every part of her body, even her ability to breathe on her own.

She told me, from the very first day when she didn’t even know what was happening to her, she felt God had told her, You’ll be able to walk again.
Jenny believed God.

She couldn’t hold on to anything. But Jenny held on to God and His promises. Her faith remained strong, even after more than 5 years of loss upon loss.

Yes, even after more than 5 years. How do I know? Because, God allowed us to be friends her last year on this earth, and I witnessed faith in champion proportions. After all that time of physical loss and emotional strain and difficulty, Jenny would have the excuse to be bitter, discouraged, impatient, and angry, but she was none of those things.

She was hopeful, patient, gentle, caring, and faithful.

Do you know what she told me the first time I visited her at her house, while she sat in her chair. She said, The very first day I was paralyzed, I asked God to help me get out of bed every day.

She said, He helps me everyday. This woman couldn’t move anything, yet she got out of bed, so to speak, everyday.

God knew that I needed a friend who kept her faith and believed God, no matter what. Day after day, trial after trial, this is what Jenny so victoriously did.  We needed each other.

Jenny was my cure to stop complaining about my nothing in comparison problems. When I was tempted to look at mountains of situations, instead of looking to God, I would remember Jenny.

Beginnings
There were days when, just thinking of her and the extreme challenges she had to face every minute of the day, got me out of bed.

I had suffered great loss. My heart physically felt it was bleeding. Did we even know that the heart can feel like it’s bleeding.

I needed a hero, a champion. Jenny was all that, but don’t think for a minute that Jenny’s the hero I’m writing about. Right from the start, the hero is God.

I started praying for Jenny years before when on the very same week, on a February of 2008, I had a diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis. But Jenny became paralyzed. Within a 24 hour period—quadriplegic.

Jenny also lost the use of her diaphragm, thus leaving her in need of a respirator. Breath by breath there was struggle to survive.
And, the three girls. Jenny couldn’t hug anymore. Twins in their teens and the youngest only 6.

I had nothing to complain about. What is Rheumatoid Arthritis, swelling and pain when moving, to paralysis of every limb and chest.

Debilitating changes
It all happened so quickly. February, 2008 brought change for the both of us, but for Jenny, she couldn’t move anything.
Was sudden paralysis of the spine due to a virus? Did the medical team ever really know? There were so many questions for Jenny, her husband, and her three girls. Questions that couldn’t be answered.

I thought about Jenny every day even though I didn’t know her well when all the changes happened.
I would reach for a cup out of the cupboard, after getting up and walking out of bed. Tempted to complain of difficulties of life and my RA pain, which seemed to come so naturally, but then I would stop.

Almost as if I was watching myself from the outside, I would fill the cup with water and give myself a drink, then I would think, . . .  Remember Jenny.
A young mom from the Y, with her girls on the same swim team as mine, and all of a sudden, word goes out, “Jenny’s paralyzed.”

I was cured.
Perspective is everything. I had no problems at all. Zero. None.

I can’t even imagine being 34 years old and not being able to move anything. Prayers went up to God for Jenny everywhere for her girls, her husband, and family.

Day after day.

Month after month.

Year after year.

I am not sure how long she was hospitalized, 8 months and more. And then training and preparation for life as a quadriplegic. A special chair was needed as well as 24/7 home health care. The house had to be renovated for the chair to go up stairs. A new van was purchased. The entire dynamics of the household was forever changed.

Jenny couldn’t hug her girls anymore.

The girls would always smile when I gave them a little wave as they walked past me on the bleachers, to swim practice. What a great thing to have a pool to kick off all the stress and hardship of life for an hour.

I remember watching her blow into a long straw-type tube to move her special wheel chair into the Y. We would have chats now and again.

I asked her, “Jenny, what’s the hardest part of all this?” Putting my hand on her hand. With great effort to catch breath, she answered me,
“People put their hands on my hand. They think they’ve touched me. I can’t feel my hands.”

I gently pulled my hand away. I remember saying, “I’m sorry Jenny.”
She couldn’t do anything. Not even breathe on her own. This is more loss than I can comprehend. But Jenny had faith that God was going to heal her. She was waiting on Him with joy and hope.

Time went on. I had a cancer diagnosis. A cancer fight with the struggles of chemo, surgery, hormone block treatments, the ups the downs, the all-arounds. And I would “remember Jenny.”

November of 2012, and I was driving my kids to school.
This was first year of school for my elementary and middle school aged children. I was a home-educator for 21 years, however the stress involved and the weakness I was dealing with gave way to public education for my kids.

We were in the car and the radio announcer posed a question,
“Is there someone very important in your life, and they might not even know it? Let this Thanksgiving be the time to let them know.”

“Jenny” was my thought.

So I found Jenny’s phone number and I called. I remembered Jenny every day, and I began visiting her home periodically.

This was four and-a-half years after the paralysis began.

A friendship developed
The first time I visited Jenny was a bit uncomfortable as I waited at the door at 10:30 in the morning for what seemed like a long time. I stood at the door, but then one of the home-health nurses let me in.

They were blow-drying her hair. I can’t imagine the amount of work every day to tend to all the needs of a young woman who can’t move or breathe on her own.
Jenny seemed so happy to have a visitor. And I was happy to be finally visiting. I came with my guitar. She really didn’t know me at all except for a few conversations at the Y and the call for Thanksgiving.

I felt I needed to thank her for many things.
This woman got me out of bed. This woman gave me courage and perspective. This woman taught me to be thankful.

Quite honestly I wonder how many lives this woman actually saved? I know God used her to save me from my pitiful thinking. From thinking thoughts that would were faith-less and fret-full.

Jenny had a gentle spirit and joyful nature, even after almost five years of circumstantial loss. She couldn’t pull her bangs down to fix them up. She couldn’t take a sip from a cup.

She couldn’t do anything!

I am sure in her quiet moments there was sadness and loneliness, but her faith lifted her. She believed God was going to heal her. She believed this with every ounce of her being.
This is the woman that should be on the cover of magazines of what a “beautiful woman” is.

I brought my guitar for a time of worship and prayer. We sang. Jenny cried. Her respirator buzzer kept going off because of the extra air needed. And we prayed.
When Jenny spoke out of the abundance of her heart, you would think there would be bitterness, frustration, anger, and complaint. But I will tell you right here and now, out of the abundance of this woman’s heart, who had lost so much, was one thing, grace poured out.

Not complaint, but gracious words. She shared, “He’s going to heal me. He told me at the beginning, when this first happened. He said to my spirit, “You’re going to walk again.”
Jenny believed God. From day one to year five, completely paralyzed.
“The Lord has let my legs still have muscle tone. They aren’t supposed to have that. “I’m going to walk again,” she told me with complete faith.
I asked Jenny of her favorite memory verse.

“Be still, and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10
She would joke how she spoke with God, “Lord, I’m not going anywhere!”
You probably think I’m writing nice words about a friend. No, I’m writing about seeing a miracle of God
This woman was overflowing with faith, and hope, and I haven’t even mentioned the love.
God did this.

He was present. I was a witness of a life filled with the Spirit and submitted to Him.
Jenny’s home health care ran out after a little over five and a half years. She found herself back in the very same hospital that she spent so many months in almost 6 years prior.
This was her greatest fear. At 40 years of age.

But God gave us time together in the hospital reading the Bible together and singing songs. The girls will never know what God did for both of us in opening His word together, I thought, unless I write the words.

So, letters for the girls were written. But they aren’t just for the girls. (I will share them as “Letters to the girls,” in further posts.)